Hi all,

Thanks for all the help! I've been given a lot of advice, and I'm having the copy re-done. Eh, pretty much starting over.

Thanks again,
Chris

Chris,

You say

I say

Problem with your headline is you have NO specifics/actuals/proofs in it.
For example it would have more power if you said...

"xyz.com drove an extra 85,000 targets to his site in one month. 123.com propelled subscribers by 1,453 in 10 days. John H pulled a whopping $999.00 in extra affiliate checks in just 7 days of using our program"

Internet marketing is rapidly losing credibilty online due to abuse. A lot of sites are seen as unbelieveable and create no real profits.

Make it real and offer specifics/actuals in the headlines, this will help you.

Not had time to read body copy. Hope this helps.

Hi Alan,

Thanks for your suggestion.

Chris

Hello Chris, I'm also publishing an ezine, so I wrote my own copy for its website, you may want to look it: http://netmarketingtoday.d7soft.com

Here are a few remarks:

-Since you're offering the membership for free, make your website look less like a sales letter, since people, at first glance, will think they're trying to be sold and some of them will close it almost immediately as a reflex.

-Your body copy doesn't proves the statements in your headline, I didn't find in your copy how your reports can drive traffic, add subscribers, and increase my affiliate commisions, you need to say how it does that in your copy. Also, as Alan says, you need to prove it with facts/testimonials, if not, people will think you are not telling the truth.

-Don't use (a $X value) at the side of each bonus. For example, on your first bonus, the free access to your forum, doesn't looks like a $50 bucks value for me. People are not fool, so I think don't stating any specific value for the bonuses, letting your readers to "calculate" how much is worth to them by their own, and creating a better perception of the value of each bonus using words may be more effective.

-Use just 1 P.S, using more than one disminishes its impact.

-State more clearly what is all that "viral" stuff, some people may not know you are talking about viral marketing, and also they don't know its potention. Maybe you may want to explain them how this marketing strategy works and how does it benefit them.

-Tell them why are you giving all that for free. Did you know that "reason-why" is a powerful mind-motivator? If this is your case, just tell them in a honest manner that you are giving all that away because the reports include links, though branded affiliate links, to your products, and that they are useful for you to spread the word about them around.

-Use a more strong privacy statement, "your privacy is safe" is very bland, you may like to use "And remember, your information will be never released to anyone for any reason whatsoever. Period!".

I hope this humble advice is useful to you.

Greetings,
Abraham L.

Great points Abraham.

I'll get to work on them.

Thanks,
Chris

Chris,

My first response to your headline is "Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, yada, yada de yada do so f'ing what!!£ I heard it a million times before and I really don't care.

I was just about to do my customary scroll to the bottom to find out what the cost was, when I remembered that it was free. So, I concur with Air - it looks too much like you're trying to sell me something.

Next - messy, messy, messy.

I like crisp, crisp, crisp.

Like so many internet marketers (including some of the greats like Corey Rudl) it just came across as messy and confusing. Corey has never earnt a cent out of me, and you won't either. I like things neat and crisp. Too many side-shows, too many bonuses, my mind gets frazzled and I just go "ok - next". It's the disease of the internet marketing fraternity - not being totally specific and just presenting this gloop of marketing hyperbole and too many products which don't actually mean anything. Messy, messy, messy - unfocussed, confusing and yuck, yuck, yuck.

For example what is a "new viral report"? Isn't that just a report? What do you mean "viral"? I've been on the internet studying and examining this stuff for 5 years, so if I don't know what you mean by that, then do your visitors?

Bottom line - I think you've over-hyped it. In the process you've lost clarity, and as far as I'm concerned, clarity is the most important aspect of copywriting - clearly state your value proposition, then (if you must) support it with bonuses.

And just because I'm not sure I've been clear, I want to say that the bonuses turn me off. That's because there's a lot of junk for free on the internet these days, and most of it is a waste of my time. It's worth remembering that people's time is precious, and that people simply don't have time to check out all this "valuable" information. Given that it's being given for free just to sign up for an ezine tells me that it's just freely available junk - seen it all before. People offering endless bonuses that are all rebrandable junky ebooks - boring. I'm not saying your stuff is junk - what I'm saying is that my perception is that it will be junk. And that's an important disctinction to make.

It might be more to the point to offer a proprietary report that can't be found elsewhere that you wrote yourself, and which tells me how to get all that extra traffic to my site.

Just my opinion,
Jane

Hi Jane,

Thanks for your honesty! Looks as if I'll be starting over from scratch, but someone on the board has graciously offered to help me with the copy.

As for the bonus, I have hard time believing an audio recording from a Gary Halbert seminar is junk....or another featuring John Carlton teaching on killer web copy. (From the responses, maybe I should replay this one a few more times! }

Thanks again,
Chris

Chris,

As I said, I'm not saying it's junk - it's probably great stuff. What I'm saying is that my perception is that it will be junk. After all, if it's so good, why are you giving it away for free? How did you acquire the copyright?

It might work for the people in your target market. I just found it to be unclear and confusing - but them I'm a hardened net surfer and acquirer of information.

I'm of the opinion that the more simple the offer, the more easily the prospect will understand the value and the easier it is for them to make a decision. Also, "trying too hard" tends to get in the way of sales - people can feel it at some level. Easing off and making more space around the proposition seems to work well. But this relies on a belief in letting go and letting things happen knowing it will all work out in the end, compared to process and forcing the issue.

HTH,
Jane

Chris, what Jane is saying is a very good to keep in mind. It's not that the interviews you are offering are junk, but that Jane, and probably some of your visitors, are perceiving it as junk.

That's because, they are not perceiving the real truth, but the perceived one.
For example, a test letting people taste 2 bottles of apple juice, one with just a white label and a drawing of an apple, and other with a label having a picture of a woman preparing the juice at his home kitchen. When the people were asked which juice tasted better, the majority said that the best was the latter... the curious thing is that both juices were from the same bottle!
People told that they liked most the second juice sample because they perceived that that juice was naturally and carefully made, hence the picture of a woman in the label.

So what can you learn from this? Even that the 2 bottles' juice came from the same source, people perceived one better than the other, just how the sample was presented, thus creating a unique perception.

It's just about how you present it, and what perception is it making. So, a copywriter needs to be careful of what the reader perceives from the copy, the offer, and the copywriter (him/her)self.

Hi Jane,

You've made some great points.

Perception is everything, and as you stated, I was forcing the issue.

Why I am giving away access to the interviews?

1. It's an incentive for visitors to subscribe.
2. I'm not allowed to sell the audio files. If I could, I would definitely not be giving them away.

Thanks for your input!
Chris