I've just launched this site selling instant meals for health-conscious people, delivered to your door.

The site has a relatively long page of copy. Now I'm having doubts. Would it be better to just have a short page with pictures of all 15 meals and just a headline and a few lines of copy ... and let the pictures do the talking. Or do you think the long copy will work?

I know testing is the only real way to find out but maybe someone out there has some advice that will save wasted time.

The site is www.metabolize.co.nz

Any thoughts much appreciated.

Chris

To be quite honest, your copy isn't as long as it appears...

It just "looks" long because you have a narrow table.

If you want to read some great info on long copy, simply do a search of all Michel's threads and check out his blog as well -- he has a lot to say about long copy.

I agree with primo. As a matter of fact in todays market I'd call it short copy. Less than 2 pages it looks like. Long copy we're talking 5, 10 even 20 pages.

Hi,

There is something very distracting about your copy.

I think that you maybe using a content page template.

If this is supposed to be a sales page you need to get the prospect to focus on only one thing - i.e if you want thenm to opt in thentease them into signing up for your newletter.

In my opinion there are just to many things going on in such a short space and my eyes did not know where to focus.

Catalogue sites can do this because of specific factors ,as well as deep pockets.

I would focus on one thing only -i.e whatever action that you want the reader to take.

If you can afford it get it done professionally ( but only if you can afford it good copy costs you at least $2000 or a share of the profits ) because it needs alot of work -there was to much info for me I had to click away.

deg

Thanks guys for your feedback. l think you are right, Deg. It's the fact there is too much going on at the top of the page that is the real problem ... you have put your finger on it. I will work at reducing that and stripping it back to make it more simple.

Thanks again.

Chris

To get the right answer you need to ask the right question...

The length of the copy is not the issue.

You need to get out and talk to some of your clients.

Find out what it is that makes them use your service.

Find out where their hot buttons really are.

Then put the biggest one in your headline.


Most important of ALL you need to develop an enticing offer that makes people want to sign up for your meals or at the very least contact you immediately.

Let me give you an example.

Let's say you help each of your clients put together a customized meal plan - including the meals they eat that you don't supply.

That's a valuable service worth $50-$150.

You can tell them if they call you right now you'll give them this first service free.

You need an offer that get's people to contact you.

From there you have a chance of converting.

There's more but without a well thought out, enticing offer you'll find it very difficult to get people to make that jump from the website to contacting you.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh

Free online copywriting course

Thanks Cartoonman.

I'm pretty confident I have got the 'hot button' right. My clients are people who come home tired from work ... or a workout ... and need a quick meal that is also healthy.

But the enticing offer is something I need to think about. Thanks for that suggestion.

Chris

Hi,

so here is my modeste vision :

the solution is the answer to this simple question :

why would I buy my meals from you and not from the hypermarket?

why to wait until recieving my futur dinner by mail?!!!!!!.

by maill!!!!

if you have a delevery system why not te deliver ready menu (not just meals).

the pb is that it is not food delevery, and not meal in hypermarket.

so you have to redifine your target people. but before you have to answer this question :

why would I buy my meals from you and not from the hypermarket?

Hope that help.

There. See how much easier it is to read?
http://yellowpagesintogold.googlepages.com/kiwifood

Thanks Skywriteing. That's awesome. I really appreciate you taking the time to do that. It is much easier to read.

Thanks again.

Chris