Looking for a crit

noniseller · **Looking for a crit -** 04-28-2006, 12:24 AM

Hey there Team

Am looking for a crit on our web site www.cinonijuice.com

New at this and would appreciate the feed back.

Many thanks

skywriteing · 04-28-2006, 04:58 AM

It's a tough call for me. I'm not sure if testimonials off the first page are a good idea. If the more experienced among us think its OK, then at least bring a thumnail of the ladies up from page two, and use them as a click here button with some teaser text.

But for sure, go through the testimonial page, bring the benifits to the TOP of the copy, and get rid of 75% of the word "I". It's just too often. From 24 uses down to 5. Best to get more testimonials too.

noniseller · 04-28-2006, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skywriteing

It's a tough call for me. I'm not sure if testimonials off the first page are a good idea. If the more experienced among us think its OK, then at least bring a thumnail of the ladies up from page two, and use them as a click here button with some teaser text. .

I was wondering what you were talking about then it stuck me as the picts at the bottom of the my testimony page. Any suggestions on how I would go about this on the main page appreciated.

Quote:

Originally Posted by skywriteing

But for sure, go through the testimonial page, bring the benifits to the TOP of the copy, and get rid of 75% of the word "I". It's just too often. From 24 uses down to 5. Best to get more testimonials too.

Re wrote the copy to remove most of the "I"s and put the benefits at the top of this page with a heading "Health Benefits Reaped"

Many thanks

Stephen Davies · 04-30-2006, 06:04 PM

Hey Noniseller -

I responded to your PM -- go check it out!

-- You'll be glad you did!