Hey guys I redid the newspaper 1/4 page ad for arthritis cream we are giving away...

Please critique

http://www.jointeaserx.com/newspaper.htm

I really need this to work like gangbusters! Hope you all can help

Roger

Roger,

Unfortunately, this ad is not very credible. Even if the cream is free, you need some third-party credibility boosters. Who developed the cream? Does it have any scientific basis? Is it based on an old-world folk remedy? Are there any health professionals involved in the company? Is it safe to use?

The testimonial doesn't add anything because it is in effect unsigned and because it doesn't make sense that someone who got a 30-day supply free and only used three days of it would buy another jar for his mother to test.

Also, if this ad is being run in a large newspaper, many people would figure that the 100 jars being given away would be gone by the time they replied.

Finally, it's insane to run a newspaper ad for this kind of product and only give a web site address for response. Everyone does not have easy Internet access. Lots of older folks who suffer from arthritis are afraid of computers.

Good luck,
Marcia Yudkin

Roger,

I agree with Marcia.

I'd think maybe having an 800 number in addition to the website might help.

And, I'd like to know a little more about the company that makes the creme. So I think Marcia hot the nail on the head with her comments.

I liked your overall layout of the ad.

Best wishes!
Alan

Hi Roger and thanks for posting the newspaper ad. I can always use examples in my "before" being pimped folder.

Jay-

http://tinypic.com/view/?pic=t0m7uc
http://i2.tinypic.com/t0m7uc.jpg

free 30 supply?

Still have the legal issues.

Don't say I didn't warn you...

Hey Doc. . .I love Dan Kennedy's site:

http://www.dk3monthspecial.com/dankennedy/index2.htm

"Why Would I, Dan Kennedy, a Grumpy Marketing Genius Give You 3 Months of My Best Information for FREE Even Though I Don't Even Go to Lunch for Free with Anyone? "

"3 Full Months of my ‘ELITE’ Gold Membership for FREE With No Strings Attached."

WHOA! What a deal. FREE and NO STRINGS ATTACHED. COOL! You click the "buy" button:

https://gkic.infusionsoft.com/saleform/nilhnat

...and then scroll down a looooong order form and see:

Gold Inner Circle Membership-FREE 3 Month Trial (one-time charge of $5.95 to cover postage) Amt - 1 Payment of $5.95

You are being BILLED $5.95.

FIVE PHOKIN' NINETY FIVE? IT said FREE. FREE is FREE. FREE isn't FIVE PHOKIN' NINETY FIVE. I don't see the FTC filing any lawsuits here for false advertising...unless of course FREE on April 5th 2006 means FIVE PHOKIN' NINETY FIVE.

I love the ending of the letter on page 1 below:

"P.S. I URGE you not to procrastinate. I am ONLY offering this FREE 3 Month Gold Membership Offer for the next 250 people as a marketing test."

Another LIE. This letter with the same offer has been up for frickin' AGES! No FTC coming in and suing his azz off. And Kennedy's offices are a short drive from the FTC too.

The FTC does not go after info marketing products.

They do go after ingestibles and bus op - make money stuff.

Guys thanks for the comments!

HEY JAYKAY PIMP MY AD!

lol Id love to see how you would pimp this ad...

Anyway you could do a quick makeover and post it up for me?

Thanks buddy

Roger

Still in rough shape...

Headline: People don't want arthritis cream as your headline touts. They want relief from the pain due to arthritis.

They also don't want 'free', before value is established, usually. They want relief from pain. For that they'll gladly pay.

They'll need to know if you're talking about osteo, rheumetoid, or both.

Your graphic leads me to believe that this is a product designed for hands. Can they use it anywhere to relieve their pain? If it's for hands, does it smooth hands and reduce the appearance of wrinkles, too?

What about odor? Color? Texture? Does it reduce swelling? Is it safe and drug-free?

Sub-Head: Though the graphic is blurred, doesn't it say '15 minutes' on the label? If that's the case, use that number in your ad.

Frankly, I would handle this ad differently. Position it as market research. Then, do market research.

Perhaps the product could be offered as a gift (plus S&H) in exchange for answering a survey before and again after use.

Ship a hard copy 'tick-box' survey with the product. After the questions, leave room for testimonials by using an open-ended question: "Overall, how would you describe your experience...". Then put an order form on the same page.

Actually, you could put a version of the survey, etc. on the Web and even leave it in plain sight for people considering your offer to see.

Peter

Pete,
I've offered help on this product in the past -- here's my incredibly loooong headline i've offered, but I guess it either sucks or it is landing on deaf ears...

-- here's the link to the post:

http://www.copywritersboard.com/view...r=asc&start=10

What do you think?

Headline sucks?

Not enough "pain"?