http://overnight-copy.com/Samples/Kacey1.jpg

I did this ad for Kacey furniture. If you don't know
Sam Fishbein, he is one of the only furniture companies
that uses direct reponse rather than image advertising.

He's worked with Jay Abraham, John Carlton, Gary Halbert,
Dan Kennedy etc.

He's a heck of a copywriter himself.

This is a totally different approach to selling furniture because...

It's not selling furniture.

Comments welcome...

Hi Doc, thanks for posting the ad. I've read every word of it. This guy sure publishes a different looking kind of furniture ad that's for sure.

Here are a few tips that would make his ad look a bit better. . .

Headline. My guess it was set in 60pt Times with auto leading. No one. . .and I mean no one but the noobiest of noobs sets headlines with auto leading. A good rule of thumb here is to set the leading of the HEAD to the point size of the type and then adjust it tighter or looser from there.

The kerning on the HEAD was obvioulsy whatever the program's standard kearning is for that particular font. That too is a noob mistake on HEADS. You need to tighten the kearning because of all the white space inbetween the letters.

Below is a quick redo of the HEAD. The top picture is your original 60pt Times with auto leading and kearning and the pic below it shows my redo which is 60pt Times with 55pt leading and kearning with a bit of tightening to it:

http://tinypic.com/view/?pic=sy07lv
http://i2.tinypic.com/sy07lv.jpg

(One of the links above should work fine for your browser). I didn't touch the preHEAD or the subHEAD.

Next I'd try another font for HEADS (preHEADS and subHEADS). As I mentioned the other day, one of my favorite HEADline fonts is Futura Condensed Extra Bold. Here's what your HEADline would look like using that font:

http://tinypic.com/view/?pic=sy0zud
http://i2.tinypic.com/sy0zud.jpg

The preHEAD and subHEAD were set using using Futura Condensed Bold. It gives the ad a whole new "bold" look that I like.

Finally lets look at the picture and caption. It makes no sense to me why the graphic designer, who set the preHEAD, HEADline, subHEAD and body copy in Times would suddenly set the caption in a Sans Serif font like Helvetica? Then "he" set the caption inside a box and made it larger than the body copy. He also has the picture beginning smack in the middle of the gutter between the first and second columns.

The picture should have started at the left margin of the second column and the caption should not be set in a larger type than the body copy. Also, if you look at photographs in newspapers you'll note that all of them put a thin black border around the picture to frame it...to make it stand out a bit.

My redo below shows the picture cropped correctly, with a black border and a caption set to go with the preHEAD, HEADline and subHEAD:

http://tinypic.com/view/?pic=sy1cpc
http://i2.tinypic.com/sy1cpc.jpg

The "final" redo:

http://tinypic.com/view/?pic=sy1mbr
http://i2.tinypic.com/sy1mbr.jpg

I could have tighten up the space a bit between the preHEAD, HEADline and subHEAD which would have allowed me to put a bit more leading in the body copy so that it could breath a tad.

I would have also tried a subtle shadow underneath the picture to give it a 3-D floating effect on the page.

It is very well-done and attention-grabbing, no surprise there.

It would not work with me. I avoid people who imply there is something wrong with me or who deliberately try to make me feel bad about myself to get a sale. However I also see some subtle humor in it, maybe unintentional... or maybe not?

As a business owner I would worry about alienating more prospects than I would attract. A more positive approach would feel better personally.

Some people may get ticked off by it... the question is, would these be potential customers anyway? And if so, does he have other approaches to use with them?

Causing anxiety is a great approach in many cases--I once saw a flyer for carpet cleaning that had me riveted ("your carpets could be making you sick", etc. etc.) and for things like duct cleaning or termite inspections.

But this one is getting a bit personal!

Still, I bet it will turn out to be a blockbuster ad and pull in phenomenal response. Are you going to let us know how it goes?

Thanks for another great swipe Harlan.

Just one question. Did you consider putting the subhead in present tense?

i.e. And how they judge you may shock and surprise you.

First off, I'd hate to give YOU or Michel
or any accomplished copywriter a critique
without knowing... how the ad has performed
thus far... if... it's been tested.

So, without sticking my foot in my mouth and
giving a critique where... probably... none is
needed I would say this...

1. under the first sub-head the second
sentence does not make sense as it's written.
I think some words are out of place.

2. it seems that maybe, somehow, the home or
interior design factor could be brought in a little
earlier in the ad or maybe even in the headline.

Otherwise, it flows seemlessly on the sales slide.

John Anghelache
www.TheJohnAngelReport.com

Nice headline.

How's it pulling?

Andrew Cavanagh

Brilliant piece in creating the "problem/agitate/solve", "problem" for the prospect.

I'd use it as step 1 in a 2-step direct mail .. or.. page/part 1 of 2 in a full page newspaper ad. This is the "before" ... very well crafted.

2nd part should then show the "after" .. eg "just imagine how ..." with a few select photos of furniture being sold, and the subsequent lifestyle boost/improvement in judgement, perception, After buying your clients' furniture.

I like the pitch a lot.. "startling research" pre head, and the "What does a quick glance.." involvement question ..

thanks for sharing it!

ken

I love the way the copy ends with "just bring your photos (or digital camera) to on of our Kacey Fine Furniture locations..."

Just get them in the door -- Lead generation!

Great stuff Harlan.

I'm going to disagree with most everyone. I read the whole ad (which nobody can normally accomplish with me) and it was music beginning to end, except for the first two lines. And I think the only problem there was how it got broken up in the column. Even JK's Brilliant spiffing seemed to detract from the message.

The message is "Hey you old, dull, dry farts out there, its not your fault your not making more money, get with our experts and lets get you on track!" And if they were attracted to JK's Spiffy modern looking Ad they wouldn't BE in this mess already. It has an old fashioned dry dull look, just like the target market likes.

I think the Dr. is in the house.
Just my take on it.

WHATT???

Sky - I know I'm sometimes a bit dense, but I don't understand what you're talking about.

What I see is exactly what Ken mentioned when he said,
To me this ad is all about how others judge you by _______ (fill in the blank).

It could be used in almost anything:

Your "appearance"
The words you use
Your front yard

-- but in this case it's your home furnishings...

Am I right or wrong?

No disrespect Sky, but what does this ad have anything to do with "old farts" and "making money"?

Please clarify and lower the bar on your intelligence meter so a "thick-skulled" moron (like me) can understand.