We are trying to capture more of our local mortgage business and have placed this ad in our newspaper. The size is 2 col x 5 col (vertical). We haven't received any calls yet and am asking for some opinions. The ad has only run 2x so far. Do you think the ad is too small? I don't know if I like using the WARNING: and then putting down other mortgage companies. Any input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for your time.



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American Mortgage Professionals – Putting You First, Always.

It would have been nice if you posted the actual ad. Is it one of those plain jane Gary Halbert type looking ads?

Not sure how to post the ad to the forum. It is basically this verbage in a box with a black border.

There are no columns in vertical measurements in newspapers ads. Vertical measurement are always in inches. Column width differs from paper to paper. So, your ad is roughly 4" (2 columns) x 5".

Ok, then it's a plain jane Gary Halbert type ad. But, it would have been nice to see exactly how it was laid out. That being said, let's look at your HEADLINE and SUBhead:

I read your HEAD, subhead, opening paragraph and say to myself. . .who cares. . .what does this have anything to do with ME? (Onto the next ad or page.)

I'm clueless as to what gets people to call a mortgage company, but I would work on putting together some FREE "special report" that tells a potential customer the "secrets" of getting the absolutely best mortgage rate and paying the least amount in fees based on their credit score.

A 2 column x 5" inch ad seems a bit small and boring:

http://i2.tinypic.com/sqgkz8.jpg

Why not try a 1 column x 10" inch ad:

http://tinypic.com/view/?pic=sqh3yb
http://i2.tinypic.com/sqh3yb.jpg

It's the same cost because it's the same same amount of column inches (10).

Ok. Thanks for your input. I'll work on some type of special report ad.

Does anyone else have any comments? Would this ad prompt you to call us if you were looking for a mortgage or does it look like just another mortgage company begging for business?

How can we promote that we are a company that looks out for the best interest of our clients and are not trying to just sell them something?

Thanks!

As far as the copy goes, I would make it read more like a newspaper article than a "warning" to the reader.

The ad looks too much like an ad and I would probably skim right past it.

If it's going into a newspaper, make it part of the newspaper.

Even if they place a little "advertisement" disclaimer over the top of it, I would still take this approach in the copy.

A headline you could use is:
Broker Comes Clean And Reveals The Truth Behind High Mortgage Rates.

To me, this sounds more like a news story than your "warning" headline.

With this headline, would you then offer the free report or keep the body of the ad the same as what I had originally?
Thanks

Right now I'm running to the airport (Going to Washington, D.C. on business), but I will try and comment some more once I get to my hotel room.

Years ago, when I was first getting interested in direct marketing, I was reading the biz section in the L.A. Times and came across this ad (1 col x 12"):

http://tinypic.com/view/?pic=sxbv3t
http://i2.tinypic.com/sxbv3t.png

Since I was running late I tore the ad out and placed it on my desk. A few days (or maybe it was a week) later I was cleaning off the top of my desk and came across the ad. It was around 6pm West Coast time on a Monday evening and I knew their office would be closed, but I thought I'd give it a try anyhow.

I got voice mail and told "Betty" I'd like a free copy of the book. . .if the offer was still good and left my name and address.

Then on Wednesday morning before 10am a FedEx truck pulls up to my office and I get a thin envelope. (This was in the days when getting something by FedEx was kind of special.)

I open the envelope and pull out a letter and the first thing I see is a dollar bill attached to the top of the letter. Cool! The letter goes on to explain a little more about the book, that it was mailed out by first class mail, that I should be receiving it in a few days, to look for it and read it immediately. Man o man I couldn't wait for the frickin' book to arrive!

On Friday USPS delivers a Priority Mail package to me. It's the book! I ripped apart the envelope and headed off to an early lunch. I flipped through the book and in the back of it was a #10 white envelope that read: "OPEN only after you have finished reading this book." It was an incredible book since I was pretty clueless about direct marketing.

Inside the envelope was a sales letter asking me to subscribe to "The Gary Halbert Letter."

I did.

A week after subscribing I get another thick package from Halbert. Another dollar bill letter explaing the next issue of his newsletter would be coming out in a few weeks and to get me up to speed he's enclosed the last 6 issues of his letter at no charge. Cool!

What an incredible marketing campaign. Gary was brilliant in those days.

I remember reading the following P.S. from the first dollar bill letter I got from him:

"P.S. By the way, as far as my dollar bill is concerned, it's your to keep and you can do whatever you wish with it. You can buy yourself a beer, give it to charity or whatever. But, you know what I hope you do with it? I hope you frame It! Why? Simply because, someday, somebody may see it hanging on your wall and ask about it and then. . . maybe you'll be able to say...

"Well, that's the first dollar I ever received because of my association with Gary Halbert and, since then, I've made over a million more."

Don't laugh. It could happen. Just wait till you read the book and you'll see why."

Yep, I chuckled at that. Little did I know a couple years later it would come true. (And yes I still have the letter and dollar bill. . .not framed, but it is in 3 ring binder along with the rest of my Halbert letters.)

Your body copy needs overhaulin' because it does absolutely nothing to get me to call and you sound like every other boring mortgage company out there.