Hi jgarofalo,

You ad breaks way too many rules. You ask your prospect to call you simply because the other guys are "bad". Why would they call ANY mortgage company in the first place? What's their biggest problem? What are they trying to achieve? What benefit would they get is they contacted you?

jaykay posted grrrreat examples. Just take an hour and try to think like clients think. What's going on in their head? And come up with a way to provide value.

The "other guys are crooks" approach will only take you as far.

-Alex

Why do people hide phone numbers and website addresses? Don't you want to make sales? Whose privacy are you protecting? And why? After all, it's a f'g advert - so isn't it already in the public doman?



Jane

I wasn't trying to hide anything. I am just looking for help so I did not want it to look like I was promoting my business.

Thank you for the example. I can see how this ad prompts the reader to act.

The main reasons people call us are either to get a mortgage to buy a home or refinance to consolidate debt or lower their payment. I am thinking I would like to focus on the purchases since it will allow us to form new partnerships with realtors that we refer those people to.

Thanks again for your time.

Hi Alex,
Thanks for your input. I am not comfortable with putting down the other mortgage co's either.

The reason I see why they call us is that they either want to purchase a home and need financing or they want to lower their payment or pay off bills. Is this what you mean or do I need to dig a little deeper?
Thanks

Yes, you do need to dig deeper.
Hey jgarofalo,

Here's what you need to understand: Nobady wants to BUY a home.
- some people want to own a home
- some want live in a home (lifestyle)
- some want to invest in real estate
- some want to "flip" it
- some think it's their retirement
- some want their kids to have more room to play
- or have their kids go to a better school
- some want to live close to something
- some to keep up with the Johnses
- some want to start a home business.

That's 10 different reasons! And I'm sure you can come up with 10 more.

As they say, people who bought a drill didn't want a drill. They wanted a hole.

Your ad is not even about drills. It's about the drill salesman (wrong!).

And what you should really be writing about is holes.

-Alex

There is a HUGE PROBLEM you need to address and you can KICK butt in this market if you address it. Anybody who has the slightest interst in a Re-Fi gets WAYLAYED with phone calls and mailings. (I could convert to a wood stove and keep warm with the offers.) You had best adress the privacy issue first. Next would be your willingness to be an advocate rather than a commissioned officer of the loan police. Let your customers go to somebody else and pay less if possible. You'll become a better person and make more long term customers. ..... stop lecturing sky.....

And get your copy from a dentist or a vetrinarian or anybody from outside your market. Focus on only houses with vinyl siding, or ranch houses only. Be weird. I know, focus only on brick houses. Talk about how quiet they are and don't creak in the wind. What good, intelligent people live in them, and what a sound investment they are. You'll get calls.

Thanks so much to everyone for your help! I am going to go back to the drawing board and do some serious thinking.

"Holes" is a real good movie. But read the book first, cause its even better.

Ya see...
These kids in this camp for unruley boys is out in the middle of this dried lake bed, and the boys are digging holes. One new hole by one boy, every day. The camp has no fence becasue its so hot and dry you'd never make it to civilization anyway. Every day, dig one perfectly circular hole, one shovel length deep and two shovels accross. Every day....