Hey guys,

I've finally gotten my website up and running and was hoping some of you here could critique my copy for me. It's at http://www.jamesmpalmer.com

I'm getting a lot of hits, and have two subscribers to my newsletter, but only one person has contacted me after visiting the site (and that was someone I called first). Be brutally honest. I can take it.

Thanks,

James

When I clicked on your link and the website came up, it took only 50 milliseconds for my brain to send up the amateur flag. Why would I want to do business with someone whose site doesn't look like a pro's site? You could be the next Michel Fortin, but your site looks like it was put together by a ten year old.

The website is in need of some major pimpin'. I'm not talkin' fancy or pretty pimpin', but just a simple, clean professional design.

I know many copywriters treat designers like a red headed stepchild, but you need to bring that kid out of the closet and put him to work on your website.

Hey James,

While I believe that great copy is more important than looks, JayKay's right, and I think you could benefit from a more professional looking site.

I see you're using Front Page, so you can get a great look easily with an inexpensive template, or you could also use a system like Word Press that's free and comes with dozens of sharp templates you can modify to create a unique design without spending lots of time or money.

In regards to the copy on your site, I'm no expert, but I think you're missing a couple of key items.

Where's your headline for example?

What's your USP - and why would someone want to do business with you?

You've got most of that information within your pages, but when you've only got a few seconds to capture someone's attention you've got to hit them with the important stuff immediately!

My advice would be to focus on getting folks to sign up for your newsletter first, so they can get to know you and come to trust you enough to want to use your services. You've got good copy written for your newsletter page there, but you have to hope someone clicks on your "newsletter" link to read it. Why not use that newsletter page copy on your home page and then see how many signups you get?

Just a few random thoughts, but overall I think you're heading in the right direction.

Cheers!

Ravedesign's point should be taken.
THAT should be the first page they see, so you can get them on your list and start building a relationship with your clientel.
That's the best stuff you got so far on your site it looks like. Start with what you have.

Qualify people. Position yourself so you make money.

Some possibilites:

Here's a headline straight from a winning Abraham ad.

Change it to your market niche.

"Why Almost Every CPA Fails to Recognize the Biggest "Off-The-Books" Asset Their Clients Are Sitting On...

Plus - a simple, concise, three-minute short-course primer on how to turn your client's hidden assets into windfall profits..."

Follow with surprising news about how the words they are currently using in their direct sales, direct mail, and website(s) are killing their results.

Cause right now, it looks like you got nothing.
No reason to read your site I mean.

Unless James Palmer means something to your leads/prospects (other than yourself)...that headline needs to change.

I didnt really study over your site or anythign but this jumps out at me. First off you do need a headline. I would normally throw you a few suggestion but I am tired. sorry.

Someone also already suggested this but you can get template for cheap to free. I would suggest getting something that has more buisness feel to it. Your current site is just to boring and dull. I also dont like the sub head that says "choose me". This just sounds like you are desperate. Try selling yourself. Now thats real pimping. Tell them why they should choose you instead of the next guy versus just telling them to choose you. What makes you special and why should they choose you.

The paragraph with all the links in it is also bad. It makes it hard to read with the constant change of color. I would thow your signature and picture on there above your name also.

I would also ditch the link that says free stuff. If it is going to be free articles you have written make it say free articles or something to that effect. It makes you look cheap. I seen it and thought you where advertising for free givaways like you would see throughout the web.

You might want to put those testimonials on the main page as well as on thier seperate pages. But just dont throw them there like they are on the testimonial page. Put them in a table.

One last thing would be ditch the links at the bottom. You already have them on the side in plain view. Why should you plaster them all over when they are already easily accessible by the client.

Hope this help you out some. Sorry I could not add some more detailed suggestions for a headline or anything. Think Im going to take a nap now.

Here's what I mean by a simple design. I can't get much more basic than this black and white rendition.

Please ignore the blue guide lines:

http://i1.tinypic.com/s2623n.jpg

Tinypic shrinks the files a bit to fit inside your browser window. If you're surfing with Mozilla your pointer will turn into a magnifying once it's over the pic...just zoom in. In IE a zoom box will appear in the lower right of the browser window or picture.

The inch of white space on the left and on the right would have been filled in with a light gray (I forgot to do it and was too lazy to go back) and the table (html) would have been fixed (so that no one could mess with the formatting of the type).

Thank you, thank you, thank you Jaykay, J, Ravedesign, and everyone who critiqued my site. You've given me a lot to think about. And work on!

I think that, for a copywriter, the copy is more important than site bells and whistles, but I think what I came up with is a little blah. I am going to try downloading a template to use. I also like the idea of using a picture and my signature. I'm getting a professional portrait done today, but how can I do the signature? Can I sign a piece of paper and scan it? Is there a free program out there that will do something for me?

I will work on all of this, and get everyone to take another look when I'm done. Thanks again. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some writing to do.

James

First impressions matter big time and it doesn't matter who you are.

3 guys walk into an office either to sell something or they are there for a job interview . . . it doesn't matter what they are there for.

The first guy comes in wearing a tank top, shorts and sandals. That's your website. Do you think you a chance of getting the job or selling anything to whoever is in charge? Only in your dreams.

The next guy comes in wearing a Men's Warehoue $200.00 dark gray suit with a Men's Warehouse black tee and some nice Men's Warehouse black shoes. That's my site. Do you think whoever is in charge will listen to my pitch or grant me a job interview? You betcha.

You don't need a $2,000.00 suit nor an artsy fartsy website, but if you're selling something to other than joe-6-pack you'd better put on a good first impression.

In answer to your signature question. I've posted this link a number of times before, it's a wonderful website, but you'll still need some really basic skills in cropping the jpeg file you end up with.

Here's the signature site:

http://www.vletter.com/design_visitor.htm

If you put your signature underneath a subhead, I'm going to find you and open a 55 gallon drum of whoopazz on you.

Thanks for the link, jaykay. And don't worry, I would never think of putting my signature under a subhead.

The site that was suggested for the sig would work but I would much rather throw mine on a blank piece of printer paper and scan it. Works great on a site with a white background.