Hi all, I need some critique from you. I am currently learning copywriting and internet marketing, and I have applied my learned skills in writing this sales letter for one of my websites which sells a software product.

The site is http://smashpopups.d7soft.com

I would really appreciate any sincere critique to my copy, as I need opinions from skilled and experienced copywriters.

Also please tell me if you find any grammar or spelling mistake, as english is not my first language, it's spanish.

Thank you in advance

Copy issues aside, I'd be more concerned about why customers would buy a popup blocker alone in the first place.

example: I use http://www.adsgone.com and it blocks all popups + all banner ads etc ...
see www.download.com keyword "popup" for examples...

just a thought ... eg "what's unique that your program does besides block popups?" that more established programs like adsgone don't offer...and build your unique selling proposition around that ... it has to pass the "so what?" test to sell ...

-ken

Hi Ken, thanks for your reply.
However, I am indeed doing all what you are reccomending. As you see on my website, I clearly state all my USPs to the reader, for example, not how my product differentiates from others, but what my customers perceive from that product that make them unique or different for them is:
-Supports many web browsers: Internet Explorer, Netscape, Mozilla, and MSN Explorer
-Stops all type of popup ads from all the supported browsers: popup windows, fullscreen, standard browser, web page dialogs
-Turns off all Internet Explorer script error messages
-Blocks Windows Messenger service ads
-Works with any type of internet connection
-Comes with a free software bonus
-Has a 100% satisfaction, no questions asked money back guarantee
-Includes free unlimited upgrades

Beside from this, what do you (and any one who is reading this post) recommend to improving my copy?

Also, I am having some problems with adword ads I have posted, they are having a 0% click-through ratio from about 2000 impressions, I'm not sure why, I'm using separate ads for each different keyword phrases for maximum relevancy, I am only targeting English-speaking users, I for example below is the content of my current ad:

Pop Up Stopper Tool
Blocks All Popups From Any Browser!
Includes Bonus Software & Upgrades.
SmashPopups.d7soft.com

What is your advice for fixing this?

Greetings.

Hi Abraham,

Out of interest, does your popup blocker block legitimate file opens done in javascript i.e. popups that are part of the copy?

I had a quick look at your site, and have these comments to make:

(a) the english is pretty bad and this could hamper your target market's ability to understand what you are trying to communicate
(b) it rambles

When it comes to software sales, I believe experiencing the software outsells reading about the software everytime. If you can make a 15 or 30 day trial available to your prospects, then they don't have to take your word for anything - all they do is download the software, try it out , get addicted to it, and then pay for the licence.

I think that would be much more effective at selling your software than long copy.

HTH,

Jane

Agree with Jane on this one, re trials are needed for software.. for example, I can download and test out a trial version of http://www.adsgone.com before buying ...

to compete in software, you need a knock their socks off demo (or at least a flash presentation)... the user must be able to try it... copywriting alone can do a lot, but w/software, a demo is a must... (and it needs to be better, or more unique /valuable, than the ones that most users are already using)...

eg demo at:
http://www.panicware.com/popupstopper.html

example: most webmasters are moving towards the "pop in" vs popups, so a popup blccker that also blocks pop-ins, would be unique.

google search produces:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&i...=Google+Search

as you can see, there's already free popup blockers on the market, and it's integrated into zonelabs etc

step 1 in copywriting is market research ... then developing a demo-available software product that out competes the others on at least 1 or more feature sets .... THEN beta testing, THEN advertising/testing ..

ken

Ken,

I agree re: market research and testing etc. I have recently become more and more convinced about the value of market research, if only to get some indication of what your target market's problems are and what words they respond to best.

I'm not convinced that the product has to be unique or superior on features. I think the value or offer has to be unique or superior. For example, Abraham probably can't compete with Zonelabs if they offer a popup blocker bundled with Zonealarm - because obviously that would have additional features to do with security. However, if Abraham's offer is considerably cheaper, then that might be a superior offer for someone who doesn't need a firewall.

I have recently bought two pieces of software for which I do not know if they have superior feature sets. One of them is the Xara javascript menuing system for webdesigners - it's not superior to doing it in fireworks, and it has some significant limitations. However, at only $19, it paid for itself the first time I used it and it is so much quicker and easier than doing it in fireworks. Had it been the same price as Fireworks, I wouldn't have bought it.

Also, it may be a mistake to assume that every shopper is scouring the market and looking at every single offer. I know I don't - I buy things when I stumble over them if they suit my needs at the time and if the price isn't so high that I have to think about it. Last night I specifically did a search on Copywriting courses, and bought the second thing I ran across because I'd seen it before, and it was recommended by Marketing Sherpa, which is a source that has some credibility in my mind. I wasn't prepared to spend the whole evening wading through every single offer when I had come across one that seemed to suit me and which has a money back guarantee if I'm not happy.

The point I'm making is that whilst some people have a style which involves them in assessing many offers and feature bundles, some people are in a hurry and just want to take action now. I agree that it is worth aiming to have some aspect of the product or offer be superior, but it's more a case of (as you say) doing some research to find out what is most important to people - price, features, ease of use, ease of installation etc.

If Abraham can't do market research for some reason, then I suppose he has to work with "best guess" and then tweak based on market testing. What will the market bear? What price point do they want to pay? Is the product even viable if there are free popup blockers out there? (In which case, I think the product does have to be superior in order to justify the price tag).

It's all good fun!!

Jane

I have to agree that the grammar and at times odd phrasing are going to turn off customers visiting your selling page. Most people buying pop-up blockers are fairly sophisticated web surfers.
They've seen plenty of ads for pop-up blockers, and you need to differentiate yours more strongly. Most pop-up blockers will do all of the things that you mention.

Let's start with your headline:
"Stop Popup Ads Now! -- New Popup Blocker Tool Will Definitely Stop All Those Annoying Popups, And Give You A Clean, No-Distractions, Popup-Ad-Free Internet Surfing!"

The grammar is wrong here: take the "a" out before clean. But it could be stronger, too.

Why not something along the lines of:"Annoyed with Pop-up Ads? Our Blocker Will Give You Distraction-Free Surfing- Within Seconds- with Our Easy Installation Feature."

Or involve emotion: "Fight Annoying Pop-up Ads with One of the Most Powerful Blockers Arround...and Regain Distraction-Free Surfing."

Or pivot off of technology:
"Most Pop-up Blockers Work Only with a Few Applications or Browsers...Ours Work With ALL of Them. Surf the Net Without Being Bombarded with Annoying Ads..."

You're competing against a pretty big pack with this type of software, so you'll need to hook into emotions, or pivot off of a real value you provide.

Good luck with your campaign,
Sheri

Yes Jane, it allows the popups that are opened when you click on something inside a page, for example, on a link.

I would like to thank you for your suggestions. You are right, my copy should be shorter, more staight-to-the-point so it doesn't rambles, include a software demo version, and with a better english.

By the way, could you help me by pointing me out to some clear english grammar errors you see?

Thank you, Ken, Jane, ans Sheri for your suggestions and for taking the time to help me.

Warm Greetings.

Hi Abraham,

I don't think there is any point in highlighting your spelling and grammar errors because I believe you should re-structure and re-write the whole thing.

Once you are clear on your offer, and you have either some screen shots or a 30-day demo to download, it is time to think about re-writing.

Once you are ready with that lot, it might be worth engaging the services of a copywriter to help you with your english.

I don't really have time to proofread copy if I'm not getting paid - I'm sure you understand that I do occasionally have to make some money

Best of luck to you,

Jane

PS by the way Sheri - my name is Jane, not Jan

Hi Abraham,

I'm a little late coming in here, but one thing I tell folks who either don't have first-rate English grammar or who have another language as their first one is this: Get someone who DOES have English as their first language to read and correct your grammar, syntax, word usage, etc. English is difficult for those of us who are natives and who are writers, too! It's not an easy language at all.

Unfortunately, when you don't write properly, you instantly appear to be less educated. That impression, however incorrect, will damage your credibility instantly. People won't buy from you.

Get someone to do your fixes for you - even if you have to pay them. Copywriters here don't have the time to do this, and some of us get paid to do it anyway.

As for your site, I agree with the comments made so far. Why don't you put it away for a few days and then start fresh - tightening up your message?

Jazzmine