Only 8 subscribers in 20 days..
I'll die out of frustration very soon, I think so..

Do you have something to tell me to take my sales letter to a ne level.

Have a quick look at it's boring face at: http://monthlysoftwareprofits.com

And I'll give you a absolutely free account at http://tysic.com

Bribe.....? well sort of )

God bless,
Deep

Hi Deep,

A few things stand out for me.

Firstly, I don't understand what it is that you're selling. I got a little way down the page and was distracted by the link to www.tysic.com and ended up over there reading that (because live support might be useful to me).

I never went back to read the rest of it - I find the design quite off-putting - it feels very stark. Also, without wishing to be impolite or unkind, the english is not good. This makes it quite hard to follow and understand what is being relayed, and this can't be helping sales. I think I also detected a cookie-cutter sales page at tysic.com.

Some of your arguments are quite good (regarding the live support), but it could all be tightened up and made less confusing. I didn't really buy some of it, particularly about giving people discounts, but I do accept that live support can help the success of a site, but only to the degree that you have staff monitoring it 24 hours per day. If it's regularly unattended, then people will just ignore it and probably feel a bit vexed (I know a site that does this and they are NEVER in attendance).

I went to look at some of the sites that use your product and couldn't find their live support buttons. Maybe you should link to the actual pages where the buttons are, otherwise I'm afraid it doesn't do your credibility a lot of good if people can't find what you are trying to demonstrate. Also, these sites opened in the same window - so you had effectively persuaded me to leave your site - I would change the tag to _blank.

Oh, and also $20 per month into my account doesn't sound like much - do you mean $20 per product sold? I'm not going to read the copy if all I can make is $20 per month .....

To summarise:
- I didn't understand the proposition
- the english is very hard to read and I wasn't entirely sure what you were saying
- you are sending people away from your sales copy by including other links
- the design needs cheering up

It might be worth getting a professional copywriter to help you out if this is your main livelihood. And I'd be very surprised if they only charged you $400 for your site!

Hope this helps,

Jane