hi,

i have 3 websites that are ready to launch but the sales letter was written by an inexperienced copywriter and they need qualified feedback.

anyway here they are:

www.landscapemastery.com
www.usedcarbuyingmistakes.com
www.boatbuyingexposed.com

thanks a lot for your help.

alex

Alex,

I only looked at the Boat Buying site so far...

I don't think it is nearly good enough. The headline (most important element) reads as if English is your second language.

All you try to do is scare people into thinking that they are getting scammed when trying to buy a boat...you give NO benefits what you FREE Tips and Tricks will do for the prospect.

I decided to opt-in and look at the Sales Letter...

That headline is horrible! What does it mean to get your "Wallet Slaughtered"

First sentence:

"If you want to hear about the sure way to make a piece of cake out of a difficult purchase like buying a boat, than strap yourselves in, because you're about to take the cruise of your life."

Comment: Are we baking a cake??

The testimonial at the top is bad too, here's why...

The Dr. is saying that this is the best book on "boating" he has ever read. Are you selling a book on boating or buying a boat? Two VERY different topics.

I'll stop there and just say it needs much improvement if you want to make money with this project.

Ed

Just saw the headline for the 1st link for a quick sec... two quickies:

1) Do they go out of business in six days or do I get the info in six days?

2) I think maybe "yard you have always wanted" should be up top to save space and make more efficient.

Alex Stiner