Hey guys,

I'm new here and am glad I found it I have been struggling with my site lately just thinking that it doesn't stack up.

It's in the IM niche, targeting the unmotivated and confused newbie marketer.

25 fellow marketers have contributed their motivational stories, tips, tricks and tactics to get newbies to take that all important action!

Contributors include Willie Crawford, Jason James, Eric Louvire, Mike Steup, Richello Killian and more.

But I think the copy just doesn't captivate enough... I thought I would get help on it now (you'll see some graphics arent in place and fonts etc).Also some graphics that are old n shouldn't be there.

If someone can help to give it a look through and demolish it lol. And if you know of someone that can write it the way it should be that would be fantastic. Also in a good price range. I'm a uni student with a lackluster budget lol.

Ok the site: Untitled Document

Thanks in advance,

Nathan J. Hockley

Welcome to the board. Hope you'll return often.

I'm going to give you some feedback on your letter - which - in my opinion - requires a great deal of work.

You are in the biggest and most lucrative niche there is.

There is sooo much money potentially waiting for the right person.

Now, conceptually. You are correct. Most people don't get started.

But the whole concept of "My Foot Your Ass" I found a huge turn off.

Who are you?

What qualifies you as someone to put your foot in someone's butt?

I think you lost half the people just with your url.

I'm in the IM world and other than Willie Crawford, I don't have a clue as to who the other gurus are.

You don't credentialize them or explain why anyone should pay attention to them.

You insult your readers repeatedly.

This is not a marine bootcamp. People can and will click away.

Your letter isn't short on proof. Proof doesn't even exist.

This letter needs loads and loads of work.

And I hope when you finally post it, you change the title from "Untitled Document."

Get inside the head of your prospect.

I think you are miles away.

Good luck and keep trying.

I didn't get into details such as headline etc because you had already missed the target so badly.

Peace.

Harlan

Thanks Harlan,

I appreciate the effort you put in.
Not thinking about the big picture
and market with the title and wording
is correct. Just needed a second
opinion to really drill it in.

I don't know which direction to
go in...

I know a more inviting product name
etc. Do you know of a copywriter
that writes with the vibrance and
positivity that I need.

Thanks again, I really appreciate it,

Nathan

I have a bunch of people in my mentoring group.

Send me a PM with your details and I'll pass it on to someone
just right for this.

I'd kill the domain name...

Consider it canned.

Back to the drawing board for a new name.

Thanks Harlan, will PM you.

Oh it seems I cannot PM you till I have 15 posts.

My email is njhockley [at] gmail [dot] com

Nathan