I have a resource for direct mail copywriting that doesn't have any examples of email letters, only postal letters, and I'm wondering how to refurbish this product to make it more appealing when few people are actually sending postal letters (even though they should).

Should I:

* update it by adding examples of email letters
* argue more forcefully and explicitly for the timeless nature of classic direct mail and that it still works today when people try it
* just market it to those who already understand the classic potential of direct mail (and who would such folks be?)

Thanks for your insights. If you'd like to see my pitch for this product, it's at http://www.yudkin.com/scourse.htm . I sell some copies of this, but not as much as I'd like.

Marcia Yudkin

Hi Marcia.

I think you would pick up your sales by using a different headline and lead. Here's something you might think about using. You wrote:

"Learning how to create a winning sales letter campaign enables you to generate business in the volume you want whenever you want it.

For me, mid-December through mid-January is the quietest time of year. But I don’t have to suffer that slump in cash flow if I don’t want to, because I have the remedy: a sales letter like the one you’re reading now. Whatever your slow time of year, this can work for you too, and for your clients"

That has potential. Off the top of my head: "Let Me Show You How To Create a Winning Sales Letter So You Will Have The Business Volume You Want Whenever You Want It"

Your personal bit following the headline (see above) is good, it's a puller, but I would re-work it as a 'but not any more' rather than "If I don't want to".

Highlight the idea that this can be adapted to email, if that's the true case -or...

Yes, put together what you call an update with email, but instead of doing what you propose, produce it as a separate bonus to build out your offer - you also get... Or as an incentive - If you order before the end of (month), you'll also receive...

Before you go to the trouble of putting together the bonus, see if the headline and lead don't work for you. I would give it a quick test. Holiday dollars are going to be a concern soon, as you know, so that might throw your test. But I think you'll be ok if you try it right away.

Who usually buys from you? If your market consists of writers, you could headline it for them. That's where it starts - with the market.

Let's start there - who buys from you that you already have access to? Another way to phrase that question: Who can you reach affordably that you think would have an interest? We'll test your answer and if it shows life, we can build on that.


Peter Stone
.

Peter,

Thanks! It's so valuable to get someone's fresh look at something one can't see any more, it's so familiar.

I like your new headline and will test it. That page gets a steady stream of traffic from Google searches, so let's see if it helps.

Thanks again,
Marcia Yudkin

Marcia,

Thanks for your kind words.

Frankly, that headline was offered as an example. I wrote it on my way out the door, this morning. Feel free to test it and report back any change in the behavior of your traffic and we can work on the page from there.

If you would be so kind as to tell me what your steady stream of traffic does on that page, it would help me get an idea of what needs work.

How long are they staying on that particular page? How long do they stay on your site? Where do they come from? After viewing that page, do they leave your site -- where do they go from there? If they are clicking in from a search engine, what key words are they searching? What else are they viewing on your site?

Thanks,
Peter Stone

Hi Marcia,

First, can I say that I love your marketing minute weekly ezine. I'm struggling more and more to breathe under a sea of ezines, all of which have merits, but I always make sure to read yours because I know it only takes a minute!

OK, bum-licking aside, let's get down to the business of your sales-letter writing course. Let me preface this by saying that I am no seasoned expert, but I may speak from the point of view of a potential customer - albeit a more sophisticated potential customer having learnt some of the tricks and tips of copywriting.

Various thoughts spring to mind, such as who is your target market? The copy is rather broad-brush - might it have more impact if it was targeted at specific types of businesses? For example, independent professionals looking to acquire new customers, or local retail businesses looking to pick up more custom from their target market?

Secondly, I didn't notice you offering any tuition or Value Added. To my mind, the value proposition is not good - $150 is a lot to pay for what essentially sounds like a book. If you don't offer any marking of assignments or feedback, then it's not fair to call it a "course".

Also, you are competing against a zillion other direct marketing sales letter copywriting resources/courses. All I got that I would get from this course is 23 before and after scenarios with some commentary. Value to me: $20.

Thirdly, I don't think you paint a sufficiently vivid picture of why sales letters are a good investment for particular businesses these days. The copy is too generic to speak of the pain of any particular person, business or industry. It didn't speak to me at all, and yet I might well be someone who would benefit from your skill and wisdom.

My personal experience is that it is a lot easier to write compelling reasons and advantages when addressing a specific market with a specific problem. I know that as a small business person myself, I respond more favourably to copy that speaks directly to me, rather than some generic watered-down version, that tries to address the needs of multitudes of people.

OK, first up, if I'm an accountant, then addressing me as dear marketer is n't going to help much in getting me to read your message. If I run a dry-cleaners, or healthfood store or HR consultancy, then likewise. You know and I know that the principals of all businesses are actually marketers (or should be), whether they like it or not. But do they see it that way? Err, no.

I also think the headline is just too bland and doesn't speak of any particular pain or result.

Concoction, uh? What you mean like when you're 16 years old and you mix a teeny weeny bit of all of your parents' spirits together to provide you with enough alchohol to get drunk without them realising?

That's what "concoction" means to me. Even if I could hear, feel or see it in marketing terms, it would still conjure images of an indiscriminate mix of any and everything. "Oh I know, let's mix the 7ps with the 5 new Ps and the Ms of consultants and create us an unworkable gloop".

It just doesn't mean anything. Who wants to aspire to a concoction? Who wants to aspire to cost-effective, laser-targeted marketing that works? Who wants to aspire to marketing-punch! Who wants to aspire to learning how to market effectively, or with punch or to get new clients easily or whatever the REAL pull is?

You know, I'm endlessly amazed by these marketing and copywriting gurus who don't even address the most fundamental issues of targeting and value proposition. I don't know, maybe this shows some naivety on my part, but what is the point of glitzy copy if your value proposition sucks, or your customers/clients end up dissatisfied after the purchase.
(I'm not actually talking about your stuff Marcia, as I'm sure you would give value).

Headline - who gives "one" about the headline if the value proposition is all wrong, and the copy doesn't speak directly to any individual's aspiration or pain? Why does everyone always start with that?

OK, well as I said, these are just my views as a potential client (obviously I wouldn't challenge all the wonderful, experienced wisdom here).

Please feel free to ignore or engage as appropriate.

>>Thirdly, I don't think you paint a sufficiently vivid picture of why sales letters are a good investment for particular businesses these days. The copy is too generic to speak of the pain of any particular person, business or industry. It didn't speak to me at all, and yet I might well be someone who would benefit from your skill and wisdom. <<

Jane,

Thank you... your post contained some great suggestions, and I will definitely use this one to spiff up my sales page for this product. I'll put it in a problem-solution format.

And my apologies to anyone coming late to this thread as I have already made some changes in the page copy, so the initial posts might not make perfect sense. They did at the time they were made!

Thanks again,
Marcia Yudkin