In her latest ezine CJ Hayden has this to say about web copy for consultants, coaches, professionals etc:

Maybe that summarises what I've been trying to say all along ....

Jane

Jane, I get that ezine, too. And y'know what's funny? When I saw that point, I immediately thought, "Yes, like Janeology has been saying all along." Really. Timothy makes a similar point in another thread, about mirroring the voice of the people you're marketing to. That's what's going to make the copy credible, not the hype.

But wait... there's more...



This is exactly what I've "felt" but couldn't put into words...

Example: I receive a "Sales Manager's" email newsletter from a VERY successful, well-known Sales Management speaker/author/trainer -- highly respected, etc.

And over the last 9-12 months, I've seen a sudden "Change of Voice" in his newsletter -- from very warm, and genuine -- to "Absolutely, positively, unbelelieable deals we have on this one-of-a-kind merchandise... and never-before-seen specials... because we just cleaned out our storage room and found dented video cases -- and so, we can offer it to you at the low - low price of ONLY!"

(wish there was an Emoticon for throwing up)

Anyhow... either he hired someone or he bought a copywriting course or something, and now he thinks he needs to write like a "real copywriter."

Maybe it's working beautfully... but I doubt it.

I don't think what's said in this thread is excusing poor, ineffective copy... boring or otherwise. Jane, Eileen... I think you're right -- and it DOES mirror what Timothy said just within last 24 hours on my thread about "How to Write a Sales Letter for a Book."

I know hype-y copy is not the key to sales on my part. The last few gigs I've landed have been precisely because the portfolio samples my clients looked at were not "hype-y", even the direct response stuff. The words clients use to describe why they pick me over someone else are "genuine" and "sincerely compelling."

This goes to the very heart of what I think is so important -- that the copy must speak in a genuine voice, and come from a place of integrity. If I can't get into that frame of mind with a product or service, I simply won't take the gig. For example, I was recently asked to help promote a spiritual book and coaching program that I found to be fresh, original, and fascinating. I enjoyed the book, and I adore the would-be client, who has since become a friend that I lunch with regularly. And yet, the world view and spiritual perspective of this person is so different from my own, I knew I could never bridge the gap from my own perspective to the audience's. So I turned the job down.

If I had to pick between a beautifully crafted sales letter and a genuine voice, I'd pick the latter every time.

Hi guys,

It was actually John Angel who brought up the pitch to market match thought in JP's earlier thread, I was just agreeing and elaborating on that.

And it is very important.

But guys... results are not always what we expect. To be the best copywriters possible, we have to watch the results, not do what necessarily "feels" best.

(note: within moral reason and honesty of course!)

For one sales letter, I wrote 23 versions that we tested (some versions were minor changes), and quite frankly, the winner was NOT my favorite - it was the most aggressive of all of them.

That selling promotion was very successful, and it still ruffles feathers, catches a lot of flack, and continues to MAKE SELLS.

Now, I wouldn't start off with the same aggressive approach for other markets, but I do almost always give my clients 2 - 4 headlines to test with each project once the first rewrite control is established.

JP - I do hear you regarding the newsletter example you gave, it does get tiring to hear a pitch parade, and this fellow might end up with a lot of unsubscribes - don't know. Maybe his business has picked up because of this approach - going from warm fuzzy readers to buyers... no clue.

Really excellent newsletter publishers have learned how to weave in their offers subtly into good content - but the bottom line is, what are the results? Not just sales, but open rate, unsubscribes, etc, to have a full picture.

With my Italian partners, they have a HUGE list and we always send out 4 emails to test run the main mailing to find the best control before sending out to the whole list - we go wth what works, not with what feels the best.

I am a HUGE fan of simultaneous multi-variable testing now... just ran a test with 16 simultaneous variables, and it was a real eye-opener. It takes a while (16,000 visitors for 16 variables), but it is so powerful (with good copy - ahem!).

The winner tripled my client's profits!

Headline 4, with sub 2, with guarantee 2, with price 4, with urgency strategy 3, etc... showed a 20% increase in CR% over the original control, BUT... at double the original price! Wild...

And to add onto these direct sales stats, we started gathering 15% CR newsletter sign-ups too! So this triple profit doesn't include eventual back-end sales. The technology for testing and tracking nowadays is far out and very exciting!

So I encourage you to watch the numbers and test a lot - it is very interesting to watch what actually works. The results are often very surprising.

If you double, triple, or quadruple your client's sales overnight, they will likely be on the front lines defending your copy in the "nay-sayer" blogs or forum posts (if in the unlikely case it becomes a public issue)... after all, who are we trying to please? Our own ideas of what should work, or what does work?

T

Just two thoughts:

1. Sometimes what works and what "feels comfortable" and sounds
"professional" can be light years apart.

2. Every performer becomes fedup of their act while the new audiences
still cry "Encore!"

Sometimes copywriters can become weary of their own art and want
to think that every other person must be able to see through their
"bag of tricks".

"Hype" is hard to define because it all depends on the audience. Hype
is in the minds of the readers like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Within the circle of honesty what works is more important than what we
think "should work".

Kind Regards,

Ray Edwards,
"the gets results copywriter!"

I use what might be considered 'hypey' copy and make hundreds of thousands of dollars from my sites. Works for me :P

Probably depends on how you define "hype". Look at tradingvideos.com/private.htm . Sold 150K+ in 12 weeks.

It's honest, illustrates benefits, and is definitely over the top and "grab em by the shirt" copy, with video testimonials and more. The stronger your testimonials and industry endorsements, the more you can be aggressive in your copy and be accepted.

My answer is always: TEST - and expand on whatever sells.

Let's operationalize "hypey" a bit better... what's an example of a hypey site vs a non-hypey site - ideas?

ken

Ken,

CJ says:

So, the question to ask, is whether your product/service falls into that category, which I believe it does.

I think it also depends on the nature of your market and the style they like to respond to.

I'm sure you'd agree that that style of copy probably wouldn't work for an engineering company trying to sell to the Fortune 500, or an accountant trying to sell their services to local small businesses.

In that situation, you sacrifice selling to the maximum number of buyers for maintaining your "voice" and your reputation. Not only that, but you're not selling off the page - the intention in most cases is to create leads rather than make sales. Again, I think this requires a different approach to selling off the page to the as many people as possible.

Also, these types of companies usually have a multi-pronged marketing approach, rather than relying solely on copy - whether on a web page or in a sales letter.

I would also contend that "what works" could be a short term success, followed by a longer term failure. That is, if the sales you make in the short term don't lead to long term clients, and if other more profitable clients are put off by a communication style that they find uncomfortable or inappropriate.

The trick is to find a balance between enthusiastically communicating your existence and offer whilst maintaining a level of decorum appropriate to your markets expectations.

Jane

You really need to look at it as if you are in front of the person. I have sold directly before in retail and I can assure you some people need their space and gentle persuasion, others need a slight push - one technique wont work for all. So copy needs to be the same, understand your audience and write (sell) accordingly.

I have written very hypey direct response pieces because thats what sells best in one particular category. On the other hand, I wrote a Board of Directors and Presidents report to over 1300 Financial CEO's and I can assure you, there was no 'order now' tone.

I try to write as if I am speaking to the audience one on one. Since I have face to face selling experience, my imagination in predicting their reaction is quite large!

Sorry! It's fluffy, self-indulgent copy that doesn't work.

C.J. Hayden will tell you that by what she does. Click here to read her hyped website.

Read her bright-red and poorly worded headline: Do you need more clients? Better clients? To make more money with less effort? Learn how with the GET CLIENTS NOW! TM system.


Listen to her recording as she promises to "double", or "triple" your income.


Check out her testimonial from Jay Conrad Levinson: "(...)can transform you from a marketing amateur into a marketing genius."


I write in both styles - hype and fluff. As far as professional practice marketing is concerned, show me examples of fluff beating hype for client acquisition and retention.


Peter