Hi folks:

Below I've included the introductory paragraphs to my first attempt at selling an infoproduct. This is my very first DM letter, in fact.

I'm well aware of how awkward some part of it are, but I thought by posting it here, I could move in better directions rather than fiddling with a format that doesn't work at all.

By the way, the most awkward part -- the part which doesn't work at all in my opinion -- is the point where I actually introduce the product.

Any thoughts on approach and style are welcome. Though to be honest, unlike some folks here, I'm a beginner so being tactful and gentle is just fine.

-Anne

Now You Can Learn To Protect Yourself From the Tricks Auto Dealers Use To Suck Billions of Dollars Out Of Consumers’ Pockets

Repentant Auto Dealer Says: I Ripped Off People For A Living – But Now I’m Going To Tell You How To Protect Yourself!

If you’re about to buy a car, odds are that you are going pay thousands of dollars more than you should.

It doesn’t matter how carefully you shop...

It doesn’t matter how many buy-a-car books you’ve read….

The auto industry has spent billions of dollars to perfect their methods, and in most cases, they’re going to get you.

But what if you could bring a 25-year veteran of the auto sales business with you when you buy or lease your car…someone who knows every dirty trick and maneuver because he’s pulled them all himself…? Wouldn’t that even the odds?

In fact, that’s what you get with the Car Buyers’ Primer, a no-holds-barred, insider’s view of the hall of mirrors known as the car sales process.

Get the inside secrets from someone who has had it with his colleagues' sneaky games:

• How dealers squeeze thousands of extra dollars into purchase contract terms
• How dealers play bait-and-switch games that can jack up your finance rates three, five or even 10 percent
• Etc...

I don't have much time to comment (getting ready for my annual vacation in Cancun, Mexico!), but I think it's a little bland.

However, I really like the 2nd header ... and in fact, that's more appealing and drives my curiosity up more. I would simply invert the 2, such as:

Repentant Auto Dealer Says: "I Ripped Off People For A Living – But Now I’m Going To Tell You How To Protect Yourself!

"Former 25-Year Used-Car Sales Veteran Has a Change Of Heart And Shares With You Exactly How To Protect Yourself From the Sneaky Little Tricks Auto Dealers Shrewdly Use To Suck Billions of Dollars Out Of Consumers’ Pockets Right From Under Their Noses..."

Or something like that.

Just another point... This reminds me of the "burglar-turned-security-consultant" ad I've seen, when a seasoned burglar decided to launch his own security company and "acid-tests" their security systems ... Truly, when you think about it, he/she is the best person for such a task.