I was wondering whether anyone could give me some feedback on this letter and webpage--I intend to add a 100% satisfaction guarantee...but any other suggestions to make it more effective would be very much appreciated.

Thanks a million

RP

Dear X,

Imagine what you would achieve if you could:

* Quickly and easily cause genuine interest in what you have to say

* Know exactly what words to use to create agreement

* Get people to want to do what you want them to do

* Effortlessly discover exactly what someone else wants

* Create deep and authentic connection with others

* Be one of those people to whom others just naturally say “Yes”


Think of the differences this will make in your life;

Imagine all your successes;

All that and more is possible;

You can achieve outstanding results!



If that is what you want then

The Creation Company’s 2 day course

Fast Track to Influence

is for you



This is a 2 day course with a 3 week gap betwen the days to allow you to practice and develop the skills gained at Day 1 before returning for Day 2

When: Day 1: Tuesday 23rd October Day 2: Tuesday 13th November 2007

Where: Wormwood St, London EC2

How much: £385.00 per day (inc VAT)



Special Offers:

Book both days together for only £695.00 (saving £75.00)

Book both days together by Friday 5th October 2007 for only £645.00 (total saving £125.00)



WEBPAGE

Fast Track to Influence

Course Outline

In Fast Track to Influence you will learn specific skills relating to:

Day 1

* How we perceive the world

* What is Influence?

o What about ethics?

* How we use Language – and how it uses us

* The Keys to Powerful Persuasion

o Knowing what you want

o Recognising others’ perceptual patterns

o Creating rapport

o Knowing whether you are getting what you want

o Adjusting what you are doing accordingly

Day 2 - 3 weeks later to allow you to practice & develop your new skills

* Another bunch of Keys…

o Powerful Language Structures – using language in ways that elicit positive and predictable responses

o The massive power of the way you use your voice

o Accessing and maintaining your own high performance state

* …that unlock your ability to quickly and comfortably:

o Uncover what is important to another person

o Discover how they reach decisions

o Set out benefits that make your proposition irresistible

o Deal with objections

o Know exactly when someone is ready to say yes

o Ask for and obtain miracles

This is just the tip of the iceberg. To list everything in the course would take many pages, but no matter what your present skills, you can be certain you will take your ability to a new level

This content is immensely effective in all work roles including people management, sales, fundraising, purchasing, business development and general negotiation.
The special bonus feature is that it is also brilliant for your personal life!

The letter has not convinced me that you can do what the course is offering.

A laundry list of benefits without any real context isn't strong enough to get people to respond -- especially for something at this price point.

The webpage is much the same, way too short to sell something at this price point. It's just a list of features, I have no idea how this relates to me or my life.

Who is the letter going to? How's the marketing campaign structured? How does the website fit in?

Hi Kyle

Thanks for your comments.

This is for a friend I am helping...

At the moment the letter has only been emailed out to people he knows--who can then click on the website for more info.

When you say context--what kind of things are you talking about /can suggest?

Thanks again,

RP

When you say something like "Quickly and easily cause genuine interest in what you have to say" by itself it really means nothing. It's too much of a stretch for someone to realize what this means to them.

First you've got to meet them where they're at - show how the benefit will help them in their everyday life, then you have to fully dimensionalize the benefit and spell out exactly what it means to your prospect.

That said, in the context of a long copy salesletter the bullets you have might suffice, but in the short copy you have they're just not enough.