I'm providing some helpful information to a list of prospects. With a little work, it could double their income. I don't expect them to take action on it.

In fact, I'm counting on it - that's the basis for my follow-up piece.

I want to follow up in a month with a hard hitting piece that explains how they can predict their future. Simple. Just look at the past. A month ago, I sent you ... and nothing happened.

etc.

Then I'd like to use copy to convince them they should be fed up and make a change. Of course what I offer can help make that change. (Even if they don't buy anything from me, I do want them to succeed on their own. I just want them to realize they need to get it handled).

So does anyone have some good copy that makes prospects damn sick and tired and fed-up with the status quo?

I'm sure there are swipes out there that whet a desire for real self-improvement, get people fed up with business results, or just get folks fed up in general. My prospects are really good people, they just settle for too little.

Thanks much.

- Burton

If I were you, I'd send out a survey SurveyMonkey.com - Powerful tool for creating web surveys. Online survey software made easy! to your list asking very specific questions to get to the bottom of this problem you say they're having.

Then, for their time, I'd give a free 15 minute consulting call for free to the first 10. Of course during this 15 minutes you're sitting there with a notepad taking notes on things you can use in your copy. You'll learn more with those 10 calls than you ever would from a swipe.

Then, I would sit down and write the letter and I think you'd be surprised what you come up with.

That description "screams" Gary Halbert to me...

You read my mind - kinda. I already have that information. It's not enough.

Problem is, most people don't act until they get fed up, desperate or both. Hence the need for copy to make people think twice about just getting by.


Believe it or not, the copy is for something much, much better than survey monkey. It's a 10 question online quiz/survey with analysis to diagnose some very common marketing problems (which I did uncover by actually doing consultations, and not for free). The resulting analysis is about 7 pages of specific advice they can act on.

It lets me provide follow-up emails based on the quiz results.

- B

I didn't find anything using "fed up" "sick and tired" (or just tired), "settle", "settling" etc. on his site that fit the above description.

Even "dammit", which is a word I'd expect Halbert to own (blunt as he was), was only on 5 pages of the site.

Do you remember the details of whatever made it scream "Gary" to you?

Thanks.

I was just thinking of Gary's writing style for his newsletters.

Do you really want to wait a month before the follow up piece? Might it not be better to send it out within 1-2 weeks. Spacing it out too far might end up with them forgetting you sent it in the first place!

They'll remember it. Also they need a realistic timeframe to act on it (most won't) for the letter I have in mind to hit home.

But you make a good point. I'll test sending a printed copy at 1 week or 2 weeks to keep top of mind awareness.

Thanks, Subtle. I think I have that one someplace. I'll dig it out.

I just noticed something subtle... those bubbles in your avatar are