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| Copywriting Discussion Copywriting topics like research, writing, headlines, offers, ads, design, multimedia, direct mail, web, etc. |
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#1 (permalink)
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| Senior Member    |  How far will you go? -
09-17-2007, 05:10 PM
Esther never worried much about the cracks in walls of her home, until one night... She awoke startled; and bolted, screaming out of her bed. She trembled in the darkness, gripped with fear. Something... something heavy and long... had just crawled across her legs! Now, Esther can't eat... she can't sleep and... even though she would pay a 'kings ranson' to fix those cracks now... she can't. Why? She must first... catch what is now, inside her home. Don't, let his happen to you... I was toying with this idea for a lead-in for an advertisement with a pretty graphic pic of a snake crawling thru a crack in the brick of an old home. Now I know it's a powerful play on primal fear but I bet it pulls... and pulls well. It got me to wondering just how far these 'fact' or 'fiction' narratives can go? How far have you taken your stories? When, in your opinion, have you crossed the line? Have you ever found yourself 'in trouble' for any copywriting or pics you may have used? What happened? Be honest now... won't you? |
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#3 (permalink)
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| Grand Master  | Re: How far will you go? -
09-17-2007, 06:14 PM
Stories used to illustrate a point are a lot different than something like a fake testimonial. You can carry it as far as you want. As a matter of fact, going to an extreme always helps a person visualize something they have a hard time understanding. I remember once trying to explain how two pulleys or gears can work together for two speeds. The only way the other person could understand was to picture two gears in his head...one as big as a house and one the size of a penny. The small one could make the big one turn slowly, or the big one could make the small one turn fast. |
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#4 (permalink)
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| Super Moderator   | Re: How far will you go? -
09-17-2007, 08:07 PM
If you're advertising nationally, the non-snake states won't go for this I assume. For someone in a bad neighbourhood, the fear of an easier break-in would do better. For someone in a cold climate... etc, you get the idea I think you're either bound to segment your markets geographically or come up with something that has a broader appeal Great creative writing though - very Schwartz-Hopkins-like  |
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#5 (permalink)
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| Master  | Re: How far will you go? -
09-17-2007, 08:38 PM
Hi Bigmo, There's more to the story. Esther found the snake eventually and became best friends with it.  You can find them walking down main street blissfully unaware of the stares of strangers. What's to be ashamed of? You've never heard of a woman befriending a stray snake? Stay tuned for more ... |
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#6 (permalink)
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| Senior Expert  | Re: How far will you go? -
09-18-2007, 03:40 AM
I haven't used stories in this way -- the only thing I can think of like that is when doing political copywriting, and I have "magnified" or highlighted the furthest extent possible of potential outcomes of particular policies (while still having proof to draw on of the claims). I agree with Eric -- and "future pacing" what might happen if you do/do not undertake the course of action you want the reader to take would be fine in a story. Still, your specific story... reminds me of a very hot summer night about 10 years ago when I woke up to see and feel a huntsman spider crawling across the top of my chest... boy did I get out of bed fast! Rachel -- now I'm curious! Dean Kennedy Melbourne, Australia |
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