Copywriters Board
Forum Rules
Go Back   Copywriters Board > Discussion Forums > Copywriting Discussion
Reload this Page How far will you go?
Copywriting Discussion Copywriting topics like research, writing, headlines, offers, ads, design, multimedia, direct mail, web, etc.

Notices
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink) Old
Senior Member
Michael Olding is on a distinguished road
 
Michael Olding's Avatar
 
Posts: 115
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Rep Power: 2
Friends: 0
Default How far will you go? - 09-17-2007, 05:10 PM

Esther never worried much about the
cracks in walls of her home, until one night...


She awoke startled; and bolted, screaming out of her bed. She trembled in the darkness, gripped with fear. Something... something heavy and long... had just crawled across her legs!

Now, Esther can't eat... she can't sleep and... even though she would pay a 'kings ranson' to fix those cracks now... she can't.

Why?

She must first... catch what is now, inside her home.

Don't, let his happen to you...





I was toying with this idea for a lead-in for an advertisement with a pretty graphic pic of a snake crawling thru a crack in the brick of an old home. Now I know it's a powerful play on primal fear but I bet it pulls... and pulls well.

It got me to wondering just how far these 'fact' or 'fiction' narratives can go?

How far have you taken your stories?

When, in your opinion, have you crossed the line?

Have you ever found yourself 'in trouble' for any copywriting or pics you may have used?

What happened?

Be honest now... won't you?

Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiReddit! Stumble this Post!Google Bookmark this Post!Share on Facebook Bookmark to Sphinn!Twit this!
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink) Old
Grand Master
SuzanneR is on a distinguished road
 
SuzanneR's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,923
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Rep Power: 3
Friends: 8
Default Re: How far will you go? - 09-17-2007, 05:33 PM

Wow...I think that is a great headline! I would definitely take it that far.

Or at least test something that goes that far.

Haven't had the opportunity yet.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiReddit! Stumble this Post!Google Bookmark this Post!Share on Facebook Bookmark to Sphinn!Twit this!
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink) Old
Grand Master
Eric Engel is on a distinguished road
 
Eric Engel's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,732
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Ohio
Rep Power: 5
Friends: 32
Default Re: How far will you go? - 09-17-2007, 06:14 PM

Stories used to illustrate a point are a lot different than something like a fake testimonial. You can carry it as far as you want. As a matter of fact, going to an extreme always helps a person visualize something they have a hard time understanding. I remember once trying to explain how two pulleys or gears can work together for two speeds. The only way the other person could understand was to picture two gears in his head...one as big as a house and one the size of a penny. The small one could make the big one turn slowly, or the big one could make the small one turn fast.


I've got it, You need it, I'm selling it at:
http://copyforsale.com - The Copywriter Come True
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiReddit! Stumble this Post!Google Bookmark this Post!Share on Facebook Bookmark to Sphinn!Twit this!
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink) Old
Super Moderator
Erik Mulder is on a distinguished road
 
Erik Mulder's Avatar
 
Posts: 822
Join Date: Apr 2004
Rep Power: 5
Friends: 1
Default Re: How far will you go? - 09-17-2007, 08:07 PM

If you're advertising nationally, the non-snake states won't go for this I assume. For someone in a bad neighbourhood, the fear of an easier break-in would do better. For someone in a cold climate... etc, you get the idea

I think you're either bound to segment your markets geographically or come up with something that has a broader appeal

Great creative writing though - very Schwartz-Hopkins-like
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiReddit! Stumble this Post!Google Bookmark this Post!Share on Facebook Bookmark to Sphinn!Twit this!
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink) Old
Master
Rachel Irwin is on a distinguished road
 
Rachel Irwin's Avatar
 
Posts: 521
Join Date: Nov 2004
Rep Power: 4
Friends: 12
Default Re: How far will you go? - 09-17-2007, 08:38 PM

Hi Bigmo,

There's more to the story.

Esther found the snake eventually and became best friends with it.



You can find them walking down main street blissfully unaware of the stares of strangers. What's to be ashamed of? You've never heard of a woman befriending a stray snake?

Stay tuned for more ...
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiReddit! Stumble this Post!Google Bookmark this Post!Share on Facebook Bookmark to Sphinn!Twit this!
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink) Old
Senior Expert
Dean Kennedy is on a distinguished road
 
Dean Kennedy's Avatar
 
Posts: 409
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Melbourne, AUS
Rep Power: 2
Friends: 1
Default Re: How far will you go? - 09-18-2007, 03:40 AM

I haven't used stories in this way -- the only thing I can think of like that is when doing political copywriting, and I have "magnified" or highlighted the furthest extent possible of potential outcomes of particular policies (while still having proof to draw on of the claims).

I agree with Eric -- and "future pacing" what might happen if you do/do not undertake the course of action you want the reader to take would be fine in a story.

Still, your specific story... reminds me of a very hot summer night about 10 years ago when I woke up to see and feel a huntsman spider crawling across the top of my chest... boy did I get out of bed fast!

Rachel -- now I'm curious!


--
Dean Kennedy
Melbourne, Australia
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiReddit! Stumble this Post!Google Bookmark this Post!Share on Facebook Bookmark to Sphinn!Twit this!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On
Forum Jump



Copyright © 2003-2008 The Success Doctor, Inc. | SEO by vBSEO 3.2.0 RC8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Subscribe to The RSS Feed!