Hey All,

I wrote the script for this video:
Real Estate Marketing (Prospects call you FIRST) - Brightcove

for a friends biz he's just getting off the ground. He wanted
video and didn't want the long sales letter.

I said fine. No problem... but you still need to have a call to
action.

This video will lead to a Camtasia power point on "How it works"

Which then leads to a call to action.

Also, there will be follow up phone calls... and the option to call in M-F 9 to 5.

What are you thoughts? i.e. Video, stepped sequence, order taking approach

Thank you for your thoughts.

What has always worked best for me is a video embedded in a short sales letter. (Scroll once)

Call to action in the letter AND in the video.

As a matter of fact I'm co-writing a book with David Garfinkel on the subject.

Sounds good Vin.

But the guy "insisted"... so I said what the heck. I'll give it a try.

Oh, I know the feeling.

Pretty cool.

Any reason why you didn't put a watermark link embedded in the video, which would point to a "learn more" page or the next step, for those who don't want to sit through the 6 minute video (especially when it starts buffering in the middle, which it did frequently with my crappy DSL).

I like to put a link under my videos if they want to skip 'em or if the redirect doesn't work for that reason. But I recognize you're limited what you can do when using Brightcove, YouTube, and the like.

I'd be curious to hear how well is pulls for them, though.

Nice job, Zac.

John

Zach,

I have a lot of respect for you, but I think this video is not your best effort, knowing your direct response marketing knowledge or having read one of your webpages or the compliments Carline Anglade Cole bestowed upon you or knowing that you attended the Bencivenga 101.

I am going to be very tough on you, because one day when I ask for critique I want you to be tough on me too.

Now here are the points:

Perhaps, it's because I've been listening to Rosser Reeves too much.

But where is your USP?

Why do you spend so much time bashing the competition?

There are two selling many points/arguments in the video...thus your video doesn't respect Reeves' point of focus 'law"?

There is not enough focus.

The presenter almost put me to sleep. There is not enough drama in the presentation. The service as the hero is introduced too late.

what does he mean by "I know what it's like to successfully farming to prospect in a changing market"

Here's Claude Hopkins's answer: "People like the specific" For example, would it be better to rephrase this as "I know what's it's like to have 200 prospects call you in one week, begging you to make an appointment with them"

Tha's more specific than just saying "successfully."

It's hard to believe him when he says, "Reputation and self-image" is everything in this business. He hadn't established enough credentials yet, to be the advisor. It's a sweeping claim. What does his experience or other's experience say about reputation and self-image?

Again vagueness in the introduction of his "farming post card" Who conducted the research? How many people were interviewed? And other specifics to build believability.

This part could have been better put with case histories with specific names and and specific stories and such. Example, "After using so and so's post-card marketing system, clients started to believe in me more and more. They started to say they know I am an agent likely to go for real estate needs"

But again isn't this a "vampire claim"? What is your USP?

You spend time painting the dark picture of "guess work" and not the bright picture of the astonishing results that come with Market Research. That's a point lost.

Again, the time spent on bashing the competition could be spent proving your case....with case studies...driving the main appeal home...the unique benefit (s) the agents will get. The agents already know about these problems...they're begging you to make them believe in your 'easier solution"

To quote Carlton:"Emotion trumps reason" You asked "wouldn't it make sense..."That's a logical question. Use emotion, promise backed by facts. Or use popularity. Show that others are already doing it and being successul (getting prospects to call you).

On many occasions you have other vampires/ distractions in your video. A picture appearing on the side of the man, and the picture is listing "features" not benefits.

It took you half of the commercial to introduce the company. too late. Most people would be gone.

Who cares about "award winning marketing designers"? Again ,sweeping claims, vagueness. Unconvincing big english.

and OUR FARMING POST CARD? That's being repeated and what is in it for the prospect? Can it be phrased from the viewpoint of the prospect?

Product features is just that product features. Nothing to get the viewer excited. "Why five star quality design" and anyway what does it mean?

One last thing: you owe this client response, and not what he thinks will work. I know how hard it is. I have been battling a French client about what should be done. It's very hard. Why don't you write one of your great sales letters and boil it down to a commercial later.

Or better, I'd re-read Reality In Advertising or "Or Your Money Back".

I know it's been a tough critique, but I guess that's what you were looking for----an in-depth look at this effort.

Sincerely,

Zach,

I'd don't suggest you have the prospects only call during 9-5 type of hours. Give them the option of calling a 24/7 voice mail box. So if they are watching your video at 2 a.m. and want to pick up the phone to request more info -- they can.

The voice mail could be setup with a long recorded message... or multiple voice menu options for learning more info... or just capture their contact info.

Let the prospects jump while they are motivated. Don't make them try to remember to call between set office hours.

Personally, I'd want to get their email and/or snail mail address and hit them with a series of follow-up marketing messages.

Hope that helps,

Mike

P.S. Not sure I liked your video. It felt strange seeing the speaker off-center. But that's my opinion, I could be wrong.

John,

Thanks for the watermark idea. I'll talk with him.

Swan,

You have some valid crits. Thanks. But there's one I disagree with: Reeve's "single focus".

Remember, Reeves was writing for TV spots. He needed ONE killer sales point that he'd try to embed. He wanted the single focus so they would remember the point when they went to the grocery store, or were shopping for snow tires.

Fact is: in long form copy, you want to include ALL points you have in a logical sequence. You know, classic deductive reasoning, if A and B are true, C must also be true.

If you read the modern day "greats", in the financial or health market, they never have just one point. They follow a logical sequence that leads to the "only" logical conclusion: buy my product.

And, introducing the "offer/company" in the middle of the ad is a common practice. Think of this formula: problem, agitate, solve. This copywriting formula is responsible for billions in sales. Yet, the "offer/company" isn't introduced until the third part of the formula.

Thanks for your crits, I appreciate it.

Mike,

I hear your point, and already talked to the guy (remember, he's a friend, not a client).

Naturally, there will be a follow up sequence. Most of his lead gen will be off line. Thanks for the input. I agree 1000%. But it's hard sometimes to persuade someone who's mind is set on a given path. So we'll test and analyze his numbers.


By the way John, in beta testing, it's a 100% response rate. Not one...I repeat, not one Agent has turned this down.

But, let me clarify. These are agents are already interested in farming with postcards, which is a small segment of this market.

Naturally, I expect those numbers to drop dramatically. Also, it does take the entire process I mentioned above. Not just the video you see, but the explanation in Camtasia, then the security the agents feel when they know there are some real people and an office behind the scenes.

Zach, I have multiple family members and friends in the real estate business. I'd refer them all to that video. I think it would at least interest them all enough to where they would watch the whole video, and I'm guessing a high percentage of them would click through to get more information.

IMO, you've targeted your audience well. I wouldn't be surprised if a professional video like this pulled equally as well as a long form salesletter, given the target audience.

Dear Zach,

You've got a good point.

"Single focus" is more practical for short commercials.

Here's my own experience, from the consumer's side. I once read "Lies, Lies" and one paragraph got stuck in my head, forced me to come back, and buy the subscription.

But did you read the "fresh olive oil" piece by, I believe, Gary Bencivenga?

I spent some serious time on this one and the idea: fresh-pressed olive oil is repeated over and over and over again throughout the copy.

But overall, one can't argue with results. If you're getting a 100% conversion rate,then the copy WORKS. Period. Period.

Have a great day.

Swans G Paul