Hi,

I'm a big fan of eBay and recently there was an auction selling "Hurrican Isobel". It was basically a plastic bag with some "Hurricane air" in it together with a piece of paper providing information on time, date and place of collection. The really big surprise for me was the fact that it sold for over $120!

Well, being a Lake District lad, the one thing that we are not short of around here is water! So I got to thinking about weird auctions and after at least three seconds of thinking time I came up with this:

http://www.lakeshost.com/rain

That is my working copy and I think I'm a bit too close to it, so I would really appreciate some candid feedback from you folks on how I could increase my conversion rate from 0% Well it is only my first auction for this

The auction is here http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...tem=2954046376 if you would also like to comment on the Title and the price.

I do want to add a picture of the actual product but haven't got that organised just yet.

Thanks

John

John,

Hi from a fellow Pom. Selling Lake District water? Well, it's certainly novel, that's for sure ....

Aside from the fact that it's a totally mad idea (and the best usually are), I would like to proffer some points regarding your copy.

The first is, I wasn't sure who your audience was. Who wants to buy Lake District water, and why? Should you aim to sell it to people who've been to the LD and forgot to get a souvenir whilst they were there, or to people in far flung locations who'd like it for novelty value. Or people who have visited in the past, have great affection for the area but haven't been for a while and would like a permanent reminder of the good times? Each would need a different appeal I imagine.

Given that you're charging $14.95 (WHAT!????), I'm assuming you're aiming at people OS - North Americans mostly? If so - what do they know about the Lake District and why would they want to own a part of it? If we stay with that concept, then let's run a little stereotype here and say that what Americans like most about England is the history and quaint villages etc. Would they be terribly interested in the geological function of water in shaping the landscape? That could play a part, but does that have enough appeal? (That appeal would probably work well with Australians who are a nature loving, technical bunch - I've yet to meet an Ozzie male who didn't know the molecular structure and chemical properties of every widget and flange in his garage).

My knowledge of the Lake District is pretty limited, but how about an appeal that used well known historical characters, famous battles and so on. You know, land of so and so famous writer, beautiful villages and undisturbed whatever whatever. "Own a piece of England and the lifeblood of it's ecological diversity" - what unique, interesting animals are found there? Are there any rare birds, or types of deer etc. not found elswhere in the British Isles? Stories of big cats lurking in the undergrowth? "The water that nourished the hearts of minds of our greatest writers" (OK - I'm making it up - but you get the point).

Back to the geology - what impact does Lake District rain have on the rest of the country? What rivers does it feed?

There's bound to be someone famous, historical or royal who has spent large amounts of time in the LD. Local artists?

Feed my mind with mystical visions and magical illusions so that I must own this water today!! Tell me why the Lake District is so important in the overall context of British history and geography etc. Tell me how pure the water is, and why it's so pure. What's so different about this water as opposed to spring water from Buxton, Matlock or Caldes de Monchique (I know it's not for drinking!)

If, on the other hand, you're selling to mainly UK based "Lake District-ites" then something as simple as "remind yourself of the glassy stillness and tranquility of Lake Windermere, the drama of the landscape as it constantly changes from verdant valleys to craggy hilltops/fells, and the inclemency that brings it all about". Or something - please don't be too unkind to my prose - I've never been to the LD!

But the point is this. You are selling something which has essentially got little or no value, so you have to work out what qualities/aspects your potential buyer will value, before they part with 10p let alone £10.

(What also occurs to me is that water goes off - won't they end up with some strange algae at the bottom of it? Are there any legal issues with regard to selling/exporting natural resources? Will the park rangers be after you if they think you're draining the lakes dry, or are you going to collect the water at home?)

TIMING: The hurricane thing was on trend. Whomever came up with that idea (and they were probably just being silly and having a laugh to see what would happen), was capitalising on something that was "of the moment" and top of mind for everyone in the US. Next week it will be something else.

More specifically regarding your copy - I noticed you used the word "tarn". I had no idea what that word was until my boyfriend used it in Scrabble a few weeks ago. Will your target market know what it is? Do they know the significance of Herdwich sheep (I know I don't). So, on the one hand, one minute you're using terms that only people who've been to Cumbria will know, and the other, you go to great lengths to explain how LD water shapes the land - but wouldn't I already have some appreciation for that if I was a regular visitor?

I wouldn't put your disclaimer in red. Red is an alerting and high energy colour - you are subconciously alerting people to some danger, which isn't really present, because the product is quite obviously not for drinking. Quietly there in black, or grey, and re-printed on your bottles should be more than enough.

Headline - at the very least I would think it would be good to change "could" to "can" - otherwise it's rather tentative.

I'll be honest and say that it didn't do anything for me.

Again, it really all boils down to who will perceive value in Lake District water in a bottle, and what benefit does it furnish them with.

If you're talking to people from other countries, then they probably won't understand the significance of not getting wet!

To sum it all up, if I was selling, say, Celtic pewter jewellery from Somerset, I would tell the story of the jewellery and use some poetic licence to get Camelot and King Arthur into it somewhere.

Hope this has been of some value,
Jane

I forgot some stuff:

OK, pictures. My feeling is that the pictures get more mundane as you go down the page. It all starts off very ethereal (give me some prehistoric stories of Cumbria), and then the pictures just get more ordinary. I'd be inclined to ditch the "ordinary" pictures or manipulate them in some way.

Some specific bits that I noticed:

"uniqueness of your own LD rain" - hmmm, is that believable? "unique", apparently, is not good for your USP because it's too cliched, and not believable when said by you as the writer. Whilst it's clearly true from a technical point of view that my water is not your water, is there a danger of insulting people's intelligence with this? I don't think most cynical English people will buy into this.

"Evoke that feeling of power and energy within the very staff of life" - I don't know what this means - wouldn't something more specific be better? How about using the "relaxation" appeal - tell them how relaxed they'll feel when they bring to mind the Lake District and how that combined with the invigoration of the bracing climate leads to greater energy.

What I also noticed in this "block" was that one minute I was having the relaxation response evoked, and the next I was bringing to mind the power and energy of ... - so you are invoking changes in feeling states that do not flow with each other in my humble opinion.

"Your presentation sample" - ok, let's look at the word "sample". Sample to me means:
- urine sample or other medical use
- free sample - not the full product
- scientific sample

None of which in my opinion demonstrates the value of my very own piece of England/the Lake District.

Oh, and here's another thought. What about some comparisons? "You could buy a plastic Yeoman of the Guard at The Tower of London, but it's probably been made in China. Or you could buy some authentic Kendal mint cake - but you'll have eaten it long before you even get to the airport/station/motorway (depending on your market). With pure Lake District water you'll always have that memento of your visit here (or not your visit here, depending on the market).

I'd give the product a name aswell.

If you can't sell it to the americans, you could always try selling it to the British Geological Survey!

Hi Jane,

Thank you so very much for such a comprehensive and informative reply. You make some really good points and have given me a lot to think about and, more importantly, a lot of suggestions that I can implement.

The original intent of this project was to evaluate the effectiveness of an eBay auction in providing an opportunity to test a number of variables. The test is still in progress and I can only change one variable at a time if the results are to be accurate; so the jury is still out!

For an investment of only $3.30 I'm sure that I will be running a few more tests on eBay.

Take care

John