Hello everyone, I hope it is ok to post this question. Would anyone be willing to give me a quick critique on my sales copy found at:
http://www.free-weight-loss-resource...s_Revealed.htm

It pulls about 2% or so...

What should I ad and what should I remove? Any helpful tips would be appreciated. Thanks!

So it's perfect?

Come on people... Give me some critisism. It only seems to pull about 2%...

Brad,
Hi, here's a couple of things. And shades of Maria Veloso, I see you use a lot of the techniques she suggests (just kidding, I'm a big fan of her style). One thing: the headline is good, but could be improved. While your question is "enjoy life" , it doesn't direct the real concern for readers:
"Want to lose up to 5 pounds a week...safely, without a diet, harsh exercise, or pills?" would. For weight loss n\methods, I myself am a big fan of a letter written by someone who has benefited from it. If you could interview a client, and ask if you could share her testimony as the basis of your letter, this might have more impact.
Then, you could use a headline like this:
"I tried severe diets, and felt ill...I tried exercising an hour a day, and ended up with sore joints, and still couldn't get the pounds off. I tried diet pills, and they didn't work...Then, I found a method that worked for me, and helped me lose 15 pounds my first month, SAFELY.
I'd like to share with you how it worked for me...

Then, you've just connected with every woman (or man) out there who has tried all of these methods, and they didn't work for them. Plus you have the greatest recommendation of all that gives you legitimacy in a marketplace filled with scams: a true testimonial from someone who was helped by you.

Your body copy is actually pretty good, I've seen a lot worse. But I think a more personal connection might bring people in even more...Your bonuses and guarantee are quite good.
Just my preliminary thoughts after a quick look,
Sheri