Q re "edgy copy", I like to do a little "guy talk" in my copy for mostly-male audiences, is it over the edge?

Here's a couple of quips I'm including in my latest traders' newsletter, which goes to a 95%+ male audience...


==================
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So, is it too much, offensive even to my almost all-male audience? Or okay?

I know in the current ultra-conservative uptight climate in the US it may be offensive, but f it, I like to have fun with my copy... what say ye, copywriters?

Is it necessary to use "guy talk references to sell?" of course not. Is it fun and different for my audience, keeping them engaged? Probably.

I'll report back w/how many sales conversions vs unsub requests I get...
:P

let me know your thoughts, thx..

Ken

FYI, here's the entire newsletter, so you can see context, flow etc.. appreciate any feedback/comments from you all.. thanks much!

Daytrading University: As seen in CBS Marketwatch,
theStreet.com, Active Trader Magazine, the Online
Trading Expo, eSignal "Trading with the Masters"
and more... learn from us for 2 weeks, on the house...!

===============================================
ChartSCANS Active Traders' Newsletter
July 29th, 2005 -- Issue 176

In this Ice-Cold Refreshing Summer Issue:

1) New INSIDERS' Trading Club deal:

>> http://www.DaytradingUniversity.com/insiders.htm

2) CHARTS of the WEEK: Downloadable charts,
revealing top trading patterns from this past week's action.


===============================================

Hi [[name]] -

Here's my best deal of the year, see:

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/


http://www.DaytradingUniversity.com/insiders.htm


_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/


It's a sensational offer, the Spring "Insiders' Trading Club"
offer sold out in record time -- it's limited to the next 35
traders who join, so take a look now before it
disappears faster than a strippers' bikini in a sizzling
hot nightclub... (^_^)

Not that I've ever been to one myself, I've just heard about
'em .. (yeah, right!)

Or a hot ice cream melting on a scorching-hot summer sidewalk...
Moving right along, we're pleased to present...

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Traders eagerly leaned forward to hear the tape reading secrets
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==============================================

Remember, the "Insiders' Club" deal expires a week from
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Regards,
Ken Calhoun, President
DaytradingUniversity.com
(88 414-5055

As Seen in CBS Marketwatch, Active Trader Magazine,
eSignal "Trading with the Masters", and more...

Feel free to email me if you have any questions or suggestions.
-----------------------------------------
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Your email is kept 100% private.

Best wishes for successful trading!
-----------------------------------------

P.S If you want to learn Trading, be sure to see
legendary candlestick trader Steve Nison and I
doing our first-ever live REALTIME trading workshop
at:

http://www.TradingSecretsLive.com

Just 21 spots left in it, we're limiting attendance so we can
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excitement is all about.

You'll see "Candlesticks Live" and "Tape Reading
Live" in person, and so much more... it's thrilling and
it'll sell out faster than a "Man Show"s (tm) bouncing
"Girls on Trampolines" hot body moves through the air...

(hey I've got a one-track mind, must be the summer heat)...

Besides, you'll love the utterly fascinating stock trading
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Ken,

I don't think it's a matter of offensive or not. It may act like a vampire-element in your copy flow though. You've got them going one way, then suddenly they have a mental picture of girls bouncing on trampolines. That may or may not be conducive to the purposes of your copy.

Hmmm....

I just re-read it in context. It seems forced into the conversation a bit -

I'm interested to hear other experienced writers perspective on this. Great question.

Good point Trebor... makes me think.. yes the mental images I paint, should be more towards wealth-building, profitable trading ones, instead of just shoe-horning in female references as I did...so it's additive vs subtractive, to the copy flow... appreciate your thoughts, makes sense..

ken

Just a thought, Ken. I understand where you're coming from with the 95% male audience. However, could you find some other analogies to your "edgy" ones that aren't as edgy, but will do the trick just as well? I agree with Trebor that it sounds a little forced. Perhaps a different analogy might flow a little smoother.

Just my thoughts. Of course, testing may prove that the way you have it sells the best...

John

All men might like women, but not all men go to night-clubs. I don't think it's so much referencing women, but the way you reference them. This one might look better as "faster than a house wife's temper" or something like that

I don't know a lot about that audience, but I can tell you my thoughts. After that reference, I doubt I would continue reading.

Ok thanks all ... will do re modifying the copy for the next round ... I appreciate the helpful comments... (agree re housewife, but I want a Positive association, upbeat, with the product) ...

something to do w/women And money and wealth, prestige, involvement "reason why" copy.

So far sales conversions are handily outpulling unsub requests, so that's good news

Anyone spot the use of contrast/multiple price point downselling at work in that letter? (stealth copy tactic #417)

ken

Faster than a housewife's temper is just as offensive to women as faster than a stipper's bikini. Do you really want to lose that 5% of your audience that consists of women?

To be fair, I'm a woman and I'm tired of gratuitous references to sexy women. Obviously, men like sexy women, but too often references that are not particularly respectful to women are used because they sell.

Just because something sells, doesn't mean you shouldn't use your conscience before deciding to use it. I can understand if men don't get this, but if you can just imagine an alternate universe where women use such references about men, maybe you would.

I'm sure there are ways to use sex to sell that are not disrespectful to women, but it seems we haven't learned how to do that yet - reflects our society.

I also think Trebor makes a great point when he says the references to women take away from the focus on what's being sold.

Janet

This is just me... but I think the references are good. They let you have a bit of personality, and people buy from people they trust.

However, you really have forced in the references, and it's like you don't feel comfortable with them.

Don't say the bikini thing and then say "Not that I've ever been to one", and then quote a different analogy. Just leave it after the bikini reference.

And the one at the end just makes me go "HUH?". I'd say try something a little more straight-forward. My thoughts went from trading to trampolines to boobies to selling etc... jumped around too much.

I kind of feel like you're trying to put it in, or are scared to. Halbert, for exapmle, has a very controversial style. There was an email back where he said "You'll be a sorry ****weasel if you don't go" that sparked a big debate on the Warrior Forum.

Halbert doesn't go "You'll be a sorry ****weasel if you don't go. Not that I would ever think of any of my customers as sorry ****weasels, I love and respect each and every one of you, but..."

He just says it.

As Nike said, "Just do it". Don't apologize for being the way who want to be or who you are.

Just my opinion.

-Dan

Thanks for the ideas, Janet, Dan ... good to hear them...

(btw I Love "faster than a housewives' temper"... I'd say something more like "faster than a shrewish overweight Oprah-watching bon-bon eating feminist wannabe housewive's temper" myself lol.. ) But again, I'm after positive references, vs dragging the reader back to dreary brow-beaten reality.

Agree Dan re unapologetic balls-to-the-wall copy is best... for this next one, I shift gears and get all business, take a look:



My follow-up email, I'm playing it completely 'by the books' re benefit copy...

Here's the new one I'm sending out as we speak, what do you think?

Daytrading University: As seen in CBS Marketwatch,
theStreet.com, Active Trader Magazine, the Online
Trading Expo, eSignal "Trading with the Masters"
and more... learn from us for 2 weeks, on the house...!

===============================================
ChartSCANS Active Traders' Newsletter
July 31st, 2005 -- Issue 177

In this Action-Packed Issue:

1) Audio download now available, hot off the press:

http://www.DaytradingU.com/5tradingtips.mp3

grab 13 megs of stunningly useful tips for active traders!

2) Trading OPEN HOUSE continues: see how active
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Be there Monday - Friday August 1st-5th at 9am EST.

===============================================

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See you Monday at 9am EST!

Best wishes for trading success,

Ken Calhoun, President
DaytradingUniversity.com
(88 414-5055

As Seen in CBS Marketwatch, Active Trader Magazine,
eSignal "Trading with the Masters", and more...

Feel free to email me if you have any questions or suggestions.

-----------------------------------------
Copyright 2000-2005 Daytrading University.
All rights reserved. Disclaimer: All alerts are
for learning/educational purposes only and
are not to be construed as an offer to buy
nor sell equities. You are receiving this email
as part of our opt-in list - reply with "remove"
to be removed.You hereby agree to all terms
in www.daytradingu.com/disclaim.htm
by reading these materials and participating
in our trial/guest/regular membership
training room. Mail address: PO Box 63405
Colorado Springs, CO 80920
888-414-5055 Our privacy statement can
be found at
www.daytradinguniversity.com/privacy.htm
Your email is kept 100% private.

Best wishes for successful trading!
-----------------------------------------

P.S. Just enter this into your browser and choose
any username (best to use first name/last initial, as
in "SteveP"):

(login link)


SCHEDULE: OPEN HOUSE 2005

MONDAY August 1st: 9am -10:30 am: TAPE READING Tactics
TUESDAY August 2nd: 9am - 10:30 am: SECTOR Scanning Secrets
WEDNESDAY August 3rd: 9am - 10:30 am GAP Trading Strategies
THURSDAY August 4th: 9am - 10:30 am VOLUME Breakout Patterns
FRIDAY August 5th: 9am - 10:30 am CANDLESTICKS w/Western Technicals


See you there starting Monday morning at 9am EST!

======================


Note how hard I'm working to pitch a free week-long seminar.

Compile copy for it, record an audio mp3 recording, and send emails..

all to demonstrate, prove credibility + knowledge to target market.

Before asking for any kind of sale, you have to EARN it. so I work on that w/free high-value content as a lead-in.

Ken