Sarah's suggestions are characteristically spot on.

Truth be told, the first thing this copy made me think of were those spam emails everyone and their grandmother got a few years ago having to do with Nigerians requesting money to stave off some kind of man-made or natural disaster.

AOTBE, this forces your copy to rise to a higher standard of credibility.

Start with a solid pre-head which guides the eye, mind and heart of the reader into your headline.

As such, neither the pre-head nor the headline should be a question. Especially a question they can answer with a, "No... OK, I'm outta here."