Copyguy

There are a ton of flaws in that sales letter...but before I go into it (I only have time to mention the most glaring ones)--I want to say you have a pretty good handle on sounding conversational. It's clear that you get it--and that gives you advantage.



Ok...now for the criticism:

• There is some very bad English in the letter. If English is not your first language, get a pro to edit and clean it up.
• I don't believe for one second that a 12 year old is writing that letter
• Who is your target audience? Why do they need to be hearing from a 12 year old?
• Your first testimonial praised this woman for product/services that have nothing to do with this sales letter
• When I start to read your bullet points I begin to see that you aren't offering anything radically different than other weight-loss nutritional programs (I guess this is an affiliate letter for USANA?)

I can come back later and look for more things, but for now..that's it