Hi Marcia,

First, can I say that I love your marketing minute weekly ezine. I'm struggling more and more to breathe under a sea of ezines, all of which have merits, but I always make sure to read yours because I know it only takes a minute!

OK, bum-licking aside, let's get down to the business of your sales-letter writing course. Let me preface this by saying that I am no seasoned expert, but I may speak from the point of view of a potential customer - albeit a more sophisticated potential customer having learnt some of the tricks and tips of copywriting.

Various thoughts spring to mind, such as who is your target market? The copy is rather broad-brush - might it have more impact if it was targeted at specific types of businesses? For example, independent professionals looking to acquire new customers, or local retail businesses looking to pick up more custom from their target market?

Secondly, I didn't notice you offering any tuition or Value Added. To my mind, the value proposition is not good - $150 is a lot to pay for what essentially sounds like a book. If you don't offer any marking of assignments or feedback, then it's not fair to call it a "course".

Also, you are competing against a zillion other direct marketing sales letter copywriting resources/courses. All I got that I would get from this course is 23 before and after scenarios with some commentary. Value to me: $20.

Thirdly, I don't think you paint a sufficiently vivid picture of why sales letters are a good investment for particular businesses these days. The copy is too generic to speak of the pain of any particular person, business or industry. It didn't speak to me at all, and yet I might well be someone who would benefit from your skill and wisdom.

My personal experience is that it is a lot easier to write compelling reasons and advantages when addressing a specific market with a specific problem. I know that as a small business person myself, I respond more favourably to copy that speaks directly to me, rather than some generic watered-down version, that tries to address the needs of multitudes of people.

OK, first up, if I'm an accountant, then addressing me as dear marketer is n't going to help much in getting me to read your message. If I run a dry-cleaners, or healthfood store or HR consultancy, then likewise. You know and I know that the principals of all businesses are actually marketers (or should be), whether they like it or not. But do they see it that way? Err, no.

I also think the headline is just too bland and doesn't speak of any particular pain or result.

Concoction, uh? What you mean like when you're 16 years old and you mix a teeny weeny bit of all of your parents' spirits together to provide you with enough alchohol to get drunk without them realising?

That's what "concoction" means to me. Even if I could hear, feel or see it in marketing terms, it would still conjure images of an indiscriminate mix of any and everything. "Oh I know, let's mix the 7ps with the 5 new Ps and the Ms of consultants and create us an unworkable gloop".

It just doesn't mean anything. Who wants to aspire to a concoction? Who wants to aspire to cost-effective, laser-targeted marketing that works? Who wants to aspire to marketing-punch! Who wants to aspire to learning how to market effectively, or with punch or to get new clients easily or whatever the REAL pull is?

You know, I'm endlessly amazed by these marketing and copywriting gurus who don't even address the most fundamental issues of targeting and value proposition. I don't know, maybe this shows some naivety on my part, but what is the point of glitzy copy if your value proposition sucks, or your customers/clients end up dissatisfied after the purchase.
(I'm not actually talking about your stuff Marcia, as I'm sure you would give value).

Headline - who gives "one" about the headline if the value proposition is all wrong, and the copy doesn't speak directly to any individual's aspiration or pain? Why does everyone always start with that?

OK, well as I said, these are just my views as a potential client (obviously I wouldn't challenge all the wonderful, experienced wisdom here).

Please feel free to ignore or engage as appropriate.