Hi Bonnie,

You really do have some writing talent there.

I thought you really missed out by not playing up a story line on this part of your copy.

"FACT: Almost two-thirds of the time, the best-qualified candidate does not get the job. "

More like:
You see some upstart, ignorant kid without even half your qualifications beat you out of YOUR job - the job you deserve etc.

The product would be more profitably positioned if it was marketed towards people wanting to interview for a BETTER job.

Unemployed people don't have a lot of money to spend but people working a job wanting to move up in the world - that's improving your odds a little.

Try this.

Actually get a friend in the room with you and use the same sales lines in your copy word for word and see if they work on her - getting her excited to buy your book.

Hey maybe I need your book. I couldn't interview to save my life.
But then I couldn't work a job either.


Anyway about looking for copywriting work where you can learn.
Wonderful.

But:
I'm more interested in LEARNING than EARNING

You know when you read about Gary Halbert writing copy by candlelight
because he couldn't pay the power bill... yes I've been there too...

I can't speak for Gary but I suspect it's not because he was more interested in learning than earning - he was willing to do whatever it took to make a lot of money.

I honestly can't think of too many of my millionaire friends who are more interested in learning than earning. Actually, I can't think of any!

That doesn't mean they don't value learning.

What it does mean is that they understand that learning is a means to an end.

I want to hire the guy who's honest but wants to get rich.


Now I'm really not trying to beat up on you, just trying to get you to think.

I think you're treating this copywriting too much like a job - when one of the greatest keys to copywriting is thinking like a businessperson or a commission salesperson.

Also in this post you talk all about yourself and as much as I think you're a sweet fascinating intelligent woman ultimately if you want to work with me I want to know what it is you're going to do for me - not the colour of your eyelashes and your brother's new bicycle.

I'm mean eh?


Also you're downgrading your value with this approach.

We all get old and jaded when we're good at something and we've been at it a while.

We know someone fresh and new can bring those flashes of brilliance to put our work back over the edge.

I hire people because they can do what I can't - not to teach them to do what I can already do myself.


Now here's what I suggest:

Do another post and treat it like you were doing a sales letter to Gary Halbert.

You know he's busy so you have to grab his attention in about the first four words.

And you have to appeal to what he wants - you've read his letters so you can work this out to a certain extent.

Also appeal to his nobler motives - most sucessful people like to feel important by helping someone out who was once where they were.

But generally only if that person is putting in the effort they did.


You also have to write in his language.

Also since he suggests writing in a certain style you'd better write the letter that way too - otherwise he'll just assume you're too stupid to follow simple instructions.

Give him a list of the benefits of hiring you.

And finally offer him a deal he'd be crazy to refuse and give him an immediate call to action.

I should point out here that offering to work for free - I'd refuse it straight off. It shows you don't value your work.

You can do the free thing but you need to give it a twist.

Halbert says you offer an ebook online at a substantial price but you don't charge their credit card for a month - high perceived value, no risk.

If you can nail your "salesletter to Gary Halbert" I'm sure you'll get more work than you can handle.

How?

Mail that letter (yes real snail mail) to every copywriter you respect.

If your letter's any good at least one of them will send you a control or something they're working on to see if you can come up with a brilliant idea or two.

The only other thing I'd suggest - and I've said it before - get out and do some hardcore one on one selling. Becoming an Amway distributor is easy enough.

If you can sell soap, and you can sell hope, you can sell in print.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh