Hi Everyone

I have been hiding out looking around this board for a few weeks now and I have to say to Michal and everyone who contributes... Thank you!

I have picked up a lot of great tips and advice from you all. Great stuff

I would love to tap into all of your knowledge and get your opinion on two sales letters I have written for my new site.

One is longer and is more personal (my story, name etc) and the other is more business like and shorter.
(BTW This is my first attempt at writing for a sales letter style website)

The website is www.citizenshiptools.com and for the moment this is where the shorter, more business-like copy is. The longer, more personal copy can be found here. ( for the next week or so.)

Which one do you think sounds more suited to the product?

I have my own personal opinion and I am going to be testing both of the copies for sure to see what the customer decides. (which is the real indicator, isn't it) But over the past few weeks I have come to respect all of your opinions about copywriting and I am very intrigued as to what you all think :P

By the way - I have a very, very thick skin...so if you want to point anything out that you feel needs correcting in the copy, fire away

Look forward to hearing all of your opinions.

Cheers - Glenn