I wouldn't be doing anyone a favor, by not sharing some hard earned knowledge with you, Ken. This is good copy. It will sell, especially to traffic that's at all warm. Here are a few tweaks that will give you an extra margin. It's intended to be taken as a gift.

This line is pretty darned good, Ken.
Copywriting How-To Secrets to Help You Write Stunningly Profitable Google Adwords Campaigns...

The following line would be stronger if the above line weren't there, already. The reason is that you're using unqualified comparators in your pre-pre-head, your pre-head, and 'finally'. in your headline. "Stunningly profitable" is good, even though it's not specific. You're courting a problem to follow that with another non-specific: "Improve the sales..." and then "Better Sales Results". Specifically, what are you promising me that's exciting?

Want to Improve the Sales from your Google Adwords Campaigns..?
"Get Better Sales Results from Your Google Adwords Campaigns By Swiping the Top Insider Secrets
for Writing Profit-Pulling Successful Ads...A Full 2-Hour Seminar Reveals all in this Sales-Boosting DVD...!"

What follows is good. You don't need the simile on the end and I suggest always using present tense, at least until you're through your lead.

Just Use Half of What's Uncovered in this Astonishing DVD, And Watch Your Updated Adwords Campaigns Pull In an Ass-Kicking Hurricane of Hungry Buying Traffic.

By not using specifics, the aggregate message, or promise comes across as a well written form of "really, really, really good, results". "Geez, you made $371,000 and all I get is 'improved' and "better" sales?" It's anti-climactic, particularly in relation to the $371,000 claim in your header. Yes, that's making an implicit claim in relation to what results I can expect. I know you're using it to establish credibility, but it carries with it a "you can too", message.

Finally, "months", simply isn't an impressive amount of time. This is a case where the specific time frame is better left unsaid and a non-specific works better to sell.

You can accomplish Alan's comment about cutting down the fluff by trimming the adjectives and replacing them with some well-chosen verbs.

And I've discovered (through painstaking, expensive testing and trial-and-error adwords placements) an easy-to-use step by step process that can quickly help improve your campaigns' sales results quickly, once you learn my top sales tips...

Please don't take this as me saying that your writing isn't good. It is good. These are just some tweaks.


Peter Stone