Tim,
Thanks your very kind. You said...
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but it looks and sounds like to write well for a "professional" market, the actual presentation (graphics, clean look, etc.) become another very important role?
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Yes absolutely crucial. Its not so much of doing it different or soemthing new but more of giving them something they are used to seeing. Familiar formatting but very clean.
Online copy needs breaking up. Graphics, bullets, bolding, underlines etc do just that. Same goes with fonts. Some fonts online in the usual size ar poor to read. For example if you use Times font on 10 points it is unreadable. Yet Times on 10-24 in headlines gives a very classic feel.
Use Arial on 10 and that is fine. Use it on 24 and it looks a liitle cheap. Just use well used, familiar fonts. Dont make eyes re-learn cause you want to be different!
Dont re-invent the wheel just keep it clean. Slick. Familiar.
Again, nice compliments, thanks.
YOUR PAGE.
At a glance the headline did nothing for me. It means nothing to a first time visitor. You know Tim I can spend weeks on Headlines. Once its right 90% of the copy is done. The headline should tell the story... does yours?
Dont be scared of being direct. Just tell the story in the headline. You say...
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Turn Your e-Business
Into a Mathematical Money Making Machine
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Why not say...
Smart Tracking Is Proven To Increase Web Page ROI By Up To 300%
Or something like that.
Also it takes far too long to get into the offer. Why all the ramble. Get right into the offer and hit hthem with your best stuff right away.
Screenshots for this product are a must... do it. That will provide PROOF that its real and does the job you say. It also breaks up the long copy.
You know I love newspaper copy. Its clever stuff. The job of the editor is to get you to read the copy. How does he do that? Go grab a papaer and study the pages. There is no better learning courses out there. Copy that stuff and you will get readers.
Gotta go Tim, short I know but hope it helps you.