Thanks Alan, Tiomothy ...

All the suggestions that you made would not apply to my ORIGINAL
copy but those changes were made by the client.

Now that I have some more expert agreement, maybe I'll be
able to convince him to make the changes.

I think that when a client is so emotionally attached to his/her
product he/she forgets that the customer doesn't share that
excitement but just want so know WIIFM.

A great part of the headline (as it now stands) doesn't pass the
"So what?" test --- I guess when the product is finally released some
test results may work the needed magic.

A doctor can only prescribe; cannot take the medication for the
patient.

Regards,

Ray Edwards